Brothers and sisters: the best present your parents ever gave you, or put on this earth to literally ruin your life? Malia’s got Sasha, Ron’s got Ginny, Monica’s got Ross and Zoe’s got Joe…. so how come you ended up with some annoying snotty-nosed little brother, who’s always putting chewed up dinosaur toys in your school bag, or a moody big sister who thinks she’s something kinda special? Whatever you ended up with in the sibling lottery, you are gonna recognise these realest truths.
It can make you feel like a magical mind-reader
While the idea of your bro or sis as being magical probably makes you LOL, it can seem like there’s a mystical connection between you. Do you ever feel like you know exactly what they’re going to do or say (probably something mega-annoying like grabbing the milk just when you were going to top up your Coco Pops, or turning the bathroom light off when they know you’re inside)? That’s no coincidence – that’s pure sibling wizardy.
You never stop telling tales to your mum
When was the last time you dobbed your mate in to your teacher? Sometime in year two, probably. But when was the last time you got your brother or sister in trouble with your parents? About two minutes ago, amiright? Seeing them get told off never gets old. Ever.
…You never run out of clothes
…because she might not know it (and she definitely wouldn’t like it), but your sister’s wardrobe is actually just an extension of your own. Like your own personal Topshop, you never know what new treasures you’ll find nestled between the hangers. The only tricky part is sneaking out of the house without her noticing that you’ve nabbed her new leather skirt. And her choker. And a couple of spritzes of that spendy perfume she got for Christmas.
You already know what looks are gonna work on you, just from checking them out on your sister
Even though you claim you guys look nothing alike, deep down, you know that there’s a certain similarity, and that can have its uses when it comes to planning out the best #OOTDs and beauty looks. Reckon your sister looks good in those denim mom shorts? They’d look even better on you paired with that tee you picked up last week. And that bronzer she’s got on works so well with her (and your) skin tone.
You’re TTLY used to being called every one of your families’ names
Especially when your nan comes to stay. As far as you can tell, she thinks you (and all of your siblings) were actually Christened “Chloe-Megan-Lucy-Paul-Jess.” And your mum calls you the dog’s name half the time. You answer to anything these days. Even “Smudge”.
The argument over who farted never, ever ends
When you’re with your mates and someone lets rip, you probably either politely ignore it or LOL and move on. But when you’re with your siblings, it’s a whole other story. Like an episode of CSI, detective tactics are employed, suspects are accused, witnesses are called and the guilty party denies all knowledge – until the next cloud of stink is released and it starts all over again.
When the power is your hands, you must never, ever let it go
Catching your bro or sis doing something they shouldn’t be doing is the ultimate prize for any sibling. Did you see your brother posting a pop tart into the DVD player? Or maybe you busted your sister creeping out of the house when you know she’s grounded? Then high five yourself, girlfriend, ‘cos you’ve just struck gold in the form of one little sentence: “You don’t want me to tell Mum about that, do you?” It’ll buy you ultimate power over them for years. Just don’t let them catch you out doing anything naughty or you’ll be left powerless.
You still pull each other’s hair
You’ve been play fighting and pulling each other’s hair for as long as you’ve had hands, basically, and even though you’re growing up fast, that’s one habit that isn’t going anywhere. Siblings and bickering go together like sausages and mash and while you’d never hit your BFF, even gently, different rules apply when it’s your bro or sis.
Your have a secret team superpower
The saying “teamwork makes the dream work” could have been written about you and your siblings when you’re in the mood to gang up on your parents. The rules are unspoken, the plan is not discussed, but when she calls Casper Lee “Casper the friendly ghost” for the millionth time, you all kick into action and get those mum jokes rolling in the roll of an eye.
Some people just think you’re the same person
OK, so you share a parent or two, a house, maybe a surname and there’s a definite similarity about your nose, but you’re not actually the same person. Who are these people who think it’s OK to use your names interchangeably, assume you both love the same stuff and (ultimate crime) give you a joint Christmas present, FFS?!
You get really good at eating fast
When there’s more than one kid at the dinner table, you wouldn’t be that surprised to find David Attenborough crouched under the table filming scenes for Planet Earth: “As the parent brings food to the ravenous brood, a furious battle breaks out over who gets the biggest slice of pizza.” It’s survival of the fittest when hungry siblings meet at meal times, so you’ve gotta sharpen your speed-forking skills to be in with a chance of filling up.
You’re fiercely protective if anyone else has a go
So while a big part of sibling life is all about winding each other up and ripping it out of each other, it is a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY if someone from outside of your family tries anything. If anyone else points out their annoying ways or stupid shoes, you jump to their defence quick-as-a-flash: “Hey, don’t you talk about my brother/sister like that!”
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Image: Modern Family