When you get through to the other side of puberty it’d be fair to assume that, in exchange for years of awkward moments and baffling body transformations, you could count on a peaceful future free from all the truly horrible side effects that have cursed your teens.
Unfortunately, these completely reasonable expectations are soon to be crumbling around you when you realise that um, not a whole lot changes after puberty tbh.
Hate to break it to you, but here are 12 problems that probably ain’t going anywhere. Oh man, LIFE IS SO CRUEL.
Had daydreams of silky smooth, blemish free skin to sail flawlessly into adulthood with? Unfortunately there’s this wonderful invention called adult acne, and it has the potential to creep up on you when you least expect it. Even Zoella’s admitted that she wasn’t struck by spots until she turned 25.
Pimples are never just a foggy memory from the past, they’ll always be around to ruin every social occasion where photos are guaranteed be taken. Soz.
2. Body hair
Puberty turns you into much more of a hairy beast than you were to begin with. You can expect to grow the stuff anywhere and everywhere, but mostly under your arms, on your legs and around your bikini line.
You’ll probably be suuuper pleased to hear that the fluffy stuff ain’t going anywhere, and as a grown up it’s up to you to decide whether you wanna go au naturale, or embark on a life of effort, removing it every few days to feel like a slippery dolphin.
3. Mood swings
Raging anger, inexplicable sadness and festering bad moods are going nowhere fast, unforch. Some days you’ll be up, some days you’ll be down, some days the sound of someone chewing their sandwich too loudly will make you want to chuck them out the window.
And when you’re an adult, you can’t even throw a tantrum about it. Luckily, you’ll probably still have friends to complain to and a bedroom door to slam, which always makes things better.
4. Being confused by your body
During the puberty years you can wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and see that your body has changed even in the time since you went to bed the night before. There’s boobs growing, hairs sprouting, hips appearing and who knows what else happening.
Sure, your body shape might settle down a little bit but it’s still something that’s forever changing constantly. That’s why it’s important to make sure you learn to completely love it, whatever it looks like.
5. Period cramps
Hate to break it to you but losing your uterus lining every few weeks doesn’t improve much or get any easier with age. You’re stuck with that bad boy for quite some time.
The only minor plus to your period as you get older is that you start to come up with a few genius tricks for handling the cramps like a pro – and you’ll develop a very impressive collection of granny knickers to wear for the occasion.
6. Feeling awkward af
Oh gahd, why did I decide it was a good idea to try a new hairstyle today? I cannot pull this off. Why did I sit next to that group of girls who all look much, much cooler than I do? I bet they’re all talking about me. What do I do with my arms when I walk?
Are these the thoughts of a 13 year old girl, or the thoughts of the 26 year old woman writing this very article, proving that social awkwardness sticks around forever? Hmm, you decide (it’s me).
7. Boob ache
You might have once been pretty happy to imagine the possibility that, once your hormones have levelled out a bit, the times of waking up to boobs made of over-sensitive, tender bricks were long gone.
Nope, you can expect the magic of boob ache to turn up as an unwelcome monthly visitor along with your 50 years of future periods. So yeah, look forward to that one.
8. Getting sweaty
Sweating is just one more elegant, graceful, Disney Princess-esque part of puberty. When your body starts to change as a teenager, roughly 3 million sweat glands become more active, resulting in some very sweaty moments and the occasional bit of B.O.
But yep, you guessed it – the sweat patches are still totally real when you hit adulthood. Stock up on a good deodorant and you’ll be able to handle this one (most of the time).
9. Friendship drama
Thought the Mean Girls-inspired drama was over once you’d left school? Everyone grown up enough to handle things in a mature, adult way? Yeah, that would be pretty great.
Sorry, but we can confirm that everyone around you will still have absolutely no chill no matter what age you and your squad stick together until. Expect the same levels of drama even when you’re old and wrinkly.
They say that your first brutal experience of genuine heartbreak is always the hardest and that’s definitely true – but it definitely doesn’t get any easier as you get older.
Your teen years are filled with the never-ending joy of having your heart turned into turkey mince by someone who doesn’t deserve you, and post-puberty will probably be exactly the same. Luckily, you’ll move on from each and every one one of ‘em and soon wonder what you saw in them anyway.
11. Fashion mistakes
It might be because Instagram makes some weird and wonderful trends seem like a REALLY good idea these days, or it might just be because you’ve been blessed with the fashion sense of a confused elephant, but every era of your wardrobe is destined to leave you wondering what on EARTH you were thinking.
Just look at the old, retro photos of your grandma, your mum and your older sisters. Fashion trends might come and go, but the proof that you wore it all will unfortunately last forever.
12. Getting stressed
That erratic anxiety is sticking with you no matter what, but post-puberty just turns it into worrying about looming debts, mortgages and whether you’ve got any milk to have a cup of tea. Just consider stress to be your life long, super fun BFF.
Yeah, in conclusion adulthood is basically even worse than you were expecting. So that’s good.
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