Glasses are great for two things: one, experimenting with cool frames, and two, being able to see. That’s basically it. It sucks not being able to see in the shower or having your lenses fog up every time you enter a warm room – and let’s not even talk about getting caught in the rain. So please, stop reminding us of our woes with these dumb questions.
1. Are you really blind then?
Obviously we’re not blind. We can still make out the world around us, it’s just that things are a bit fuzzy.
2. How many fingers am I holding up?
3. Can I try them on?
No, and you know why? Because you’ll just get grubby fingerprints all over them and then complain that you’ve got a headache later.
4. I wish I wore glasses!
Do you? Do you really? You’re down for constantly squinting in the sun and panicking about losing your friends when you go swimming and struggling with your eye makeup? Cool, we’d be happy to swap places.
5. You look just like [famous person who wears glasses].
That’s like saying we look like Ariana Grande because we’re wearing a ponytail.
6. Are you really clever?
Thanks for this one, geek chic. No glasses do not equal smarts, nor do we suddenly become super brainy when we put them on. Although they do help us read the board at school, which definitely helps.
7. But you’ve got such pretty eyes.
Yeah, we know. What’s that got to do with our glasses?
8. Why don’t you wear contacts or get laser eye surgery?
Wow, we’d literally never thought of that! Um, maybe because we’re not old enough, or just don’t fancy sticking our fingers in our eyes every day? Not that it’s any of your business.
9. You look really different with your glasses on.
Thank you, Captain Obvious. Wearing a load of plastic and glass on your face will do that, yeah.
10. Haha, four-eyes.
OMG, is that the best you can do? The 90s called – they want their stupid insult back.
11. Are they even real?
Nah, we just wear them for a laugh. Ugh!
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Image: Amber Griffin