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We crowdsourced everyone’s most hilarious school trip stories

There was always so much excitement surrounding school trips. Who would sit next to who on the bus? How many snacks were people packing? Who was in charge of making the playlist? There have been some great school trips, we’re sure of it – we’re just not sure we’ve ever been on one…

Here are our most hilarious, absurd and downright disgusting stories from school trips gone by. Ah, memories.

“On the way back from a drama trip to see Woman In Black in the West End (most terrifying two hours of my life), our coach got stuck in a really big traffic jam. For five hours. It was the middle of the night and we had no snacks, or, crucially, a toilet, so eventually at about 3am a teacher had to knock on the door of a family who lived on the road, wake them up and ask if they’d let 40 schoolgirls traipse through their house to use their toilet. They did, god bless their souls.”

“We were on a four hour bus trip and a handful of people started throwing up. The bus smelled foul, so more people threw up. Then it smelled worse, so more people threw up. Hand on heart, people were reusing each other’s plastic bags to throw up into. It was the closest I’ve ever been to being part of a pandemic.”

“On a school trip to Wimbledon my friend walked past Sue Barker doing a live BBC broadcast and said really loudly “Oh look, it’s Sue Baker!” and it was on the telly.”

“We had to do proposals to the camp leaders – like, marriage proposals, which I now realise is super weird. Anyway, it was the first week of year seven, so we didn’t know each other and I was the nominated proposer from my group and I didn’t know what to do so I leant against the chair that the instructor was sitting in, said “You know, we’re not so different you and I” and then panicked and jumped in his lap.”

“On our school residential holiday we completely convinced ourselves that the middle aged coach driver and our Italian tour guide were having a torrid affair. We studied them ‘flirting’ the whole trip, and we were totally sure they were getting it on in the hotel room next to ours one night because we could hear ‘furniture moving’. Looking back now, I see that this was entirely bollocks.”

“In year four we went on a school trip where we stayed overnight for a few days. It was the first time away from home for most of us. Everyone who had older siblings in the school had been told that the hotel was haunted, obviously. Cue a bunch of 9 year olds running around a hotel telling each other they were being followed down the corridor by a ghost, and getting each other to say Bloody Mary into a mirror three times.”

“In year nine, we had this theory that you could sync your periods by rubbing elbows, so on a science field trip everyone was rubbing elbows with each other and giggling about periods and our teacher overheard someone say people who used tampons were gross. So she took it upon herself to provide a demonstration with a waterbottle acting as the vaginal canal and a plastic bag playing the role of the labia. It was… informative.”

“My sister has nearly died on two school trips. Technically one was Duke of Edinburgh so it’s to be expected really, but she did end up in a hypothermia bag. The other time, she fell off a boat and got her legs tangled in all the ropes and a lifeboat had to come out and rescue her.”

“It was a biology field trip with other schools. While we were out, someone was pooing in people’s sleeping bags.”

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