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Here are the most embarrassing things we have done in the name of crush

Crushes are strange things. They consume your entire heart for short but intense periods, and turn your brain to absolute mush. So if you have ever found yourself in front of someone you’re totally infatuated with, unable to do basic tasks like form words, or put one foot in front of the other – don’t worry, for you are not alone. Here 22 people, some of whom have actually not sunk into the earth with embarrassment, share their most awkward moments in front of people they fancied.

“Sent a long, very descriptive email about my crush – which contained phrases like ‘oh god his eyes are amazing’ and ‘do you think he even knows I exist’ – actually to my crush, instead of my best friend as I intended. I was so mortified that I just went outside and lay face-down on the pavement, murmuring ‘no no no’. Luckily it went into his spam folder and he didn’t even see it.”

“Choked on absolutely nothing while talking to him and coughed so hard I farted, audibly.”

“I was so nervous about whether a guy at college would call after we’d exchanged numbers that I was sick in my back garden. AND he never called.”

“Started laughing long before she finished the joke, and way too hard.”

“Sent an anonymous Valentine to my school crush. My friend was going to set us up. My crush asked my friend out, she said yes, and everyone found out.”

“Saw him across the street with a bunch of his friends, so I waved, SHOUTED MY OWN NAME, then fell over.”

“I had to wear a neckbrace and eye patch on a first ‘date’ (hanging out at the park) with a boy I was fully in crush with. He brought his best mate along and it was so awkward my spleen almost fell out.”

“Posted him some of my eyelashes, because that’s not mental.”

“During a party he invited me onto the roof to stargaze. It was super romantic, we were lying on our backs side-by-side, watching the stars. Then he shuffled closer for a kiss, and I…. completely got an attack of awkwardness, and froze. He ended up going out with someone else.”

“Wrote his name and my name in a big heart on the back of my textbook then chatted to him after class, without realising that I was holding my text book in front of him the whole time.”

“Wrote him a letter describing his laugh as ‘the tinkling of tiny bells’ then made him read it in front of me. NB he did not become my boyfriend.”

“Just reached out and touched his hair while talking, without really thinking about it. I can’t help but keep replaying him backing away in my mind.”

“I made mashed potato for the first time for a guy. My mum was at work but talked me through making the mashed potato over the phone. It was not good. My brothers, who were there for some reason, kept complaining about the lumps in the mashed potato, in front of the boy. It was all kinds of cringe.”

“Accidentally texted her a ‘crying with laughter’ emoji when she told me her grandmother had died :(“

“I agonised over asking out my absolute true love, who was also my best friend. I was so serious about the whole thing I even wrote a letter to my parents letting them know I was going to do it and declaring I was now old enough to have a boyfriend. I called him up, asked him to come to the cinema with me and was so happy when he said yes. When we got there, he had completely misunderstood what I meant and invited all our other friends along too. I never had the nerve to tell him I’d meant it to be a date.”

“Pretended I could play guitar to join his band, then had to make hasty excuses when he asked if I could play in a gig that night.”

“When I was 15, there was an attractive guy in my apartment block, so I sent him a letter with lyrics to All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey (it was Christmas). I never heard back.”

“Completely freaked out when she asked me, unexpectedly, for a date – and said ‘no, thanks’ instead of ‘yes please’.”

“I sneezed in front of him, and it wasn’t dainty. The whole world came out of my nose, and I didn’t have a tissue to hand, so just had to leave the room with both hands clamped across my face. It was very obvious what had happened. But we still dated.”

“I took out an advert in the school’s Valentine’s Book (like a yearbook for charity they did where you could post anon msgs)… It read: ‘Ross you make me happy, you make me feel alriiiigggghtttt.’ Like the Tequila song. I signed my own name. He never spoke to me again.”

“Called him ‘Mum’. Then corrected myself, and called him by my mother’s name.”

@orbyn

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