They come into your room, looking nervous
And you point out it can probably wait until after dinner because #priorities
But they perch on your bed anyway and are acting weirdly serious.
And then you realise where this is going:
The regret hits you hard, and fast.
And you wanna get out of there, ASAP.
You would do anything to make this conversation stop.
But your mum is all:
“We aren’t trying to scare you”
“And we accept any choices you make”
But then they use words like ‘vagina’
And all you can think is…
Then they ask if you know about contraception and you’re all like:
FINALLY it feels like it’s coming to an end… then they ask if you have any questions.
When they finally leave, they remind you one more time to always practise safe sex.
And be responsible
Then if things weren’t already awkward enough, they try and pull off a cool exit. Which fails dramatically.
And when they finally leave, you need a lie down.
JUST A NORMAL LIE-DOWN, GUYS. Jeez.