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It’s almost Father’s Day, so here are our favourite hilarious dad stories

There’s something so wonderful about dads. Ridiculous, adorable, charming, silly ol’ dads. In honour of Father’s Day this weekend, we asked around for people’s fave stories about their old man – and damn, are they all delightful.

“I was born 10 days late (naturally I was waiting to make an entrance) and so my parents had been braced and ready for the birth for a while. When my mum finally went into labour, my dad took her to the hospital and then realised he’d left his specially prepared ‘hospital’ sandwiches at home in the fridge. So he abandoned her there, in labour, while he went home to get them. In his defence, they were cheese and pickle.”

“My dad was once airlifted out of the Australian desert. He had been doing research on farmers in the desert and he’d been riding a horse all day. At the end of the day, his head hurt and one of the other people there happened to be a neurosurgeon, so he started asking my dad all these questions about other symptoms and my father is (unlike his daughter) prone to dramatics, so just said yes to whatever he asked. The neurosurgeon called up the flying doctors service and they bought a helicopter and airlifted my dad to the closest hospital, three hours away. My dad called my mum and told her what was happening but he was on the other side of the country by this point (it’s Australia so the other side of the country is a five hour flight) and didn’t know what to do so they decided they’d wait until he got his MRI results back before making decisions about all of us flying over to sit at his bedside. My dad called again a few hours later and had to tell us, quite sheepishly, that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. He’d forgotten to drink enough water and had a headache.”

“My gran asked me if I had a boyfriend when I was 18, and me and my dad panicked because we forget no one had told her I was a lesbian. We were about to leave, so my dad sends me out to the car while he stayed inside, presumably to “have a word” with her about it. Five minutes later, after sitting in the car in trepidation, my dad comes swaggering out of the the house, opens the car door with all the confidence of a mediocre male comedian and just says “Don’t worry. I set her…. STRAIGHT.””

“For a sports match my dad decided to cook my brothers and I dinner. He can’t cook, because my dad fits a lot of stereotypes, and so made pasta. But in the spirit of the game, he poured blue food dye all over the pasta, with no concept of how much one should use. We had blue teeth for an entire day.”

“The only thing my dad can cook well is soft boiled eggs. To work out how long he needs to cook them for he sings Elton John’s ‘Crocodile Rock’ in his head whilst they’re boiling, and takes them off when the song is finished.”

“My dad was a professional clown for three months.”

“My dad got a scholarship to Cambridge to study law after correctly answering the question “How much water is contained in a cow?” in his interview but turned it down to tour the country in a rock band called Dick City (seriously) and eventually become the manager of Woolworths in Swansea.”

“My dad sawed himself out of a tree when building a treehouse for us all. He claimed he was using his body as a counterweight when he cut off the branch he was sitting on. He’s very clumsy my dad, but what a hero.”

“My mum had an operation when I was in final year of primary school and we were supposed to play a netball match with the year six team against our mums but obviously she couldn’t go so my Dad played instead as the only bloke. In a skirt (and shorts underneath, he’s not a flasher).”

“Dad took me to Pizza Hut once and the lid was loose on the sprinkler of chilli flakes, so he ended up pouring the entire pot on top of his pizza. But he refused a new pizza and instead opted for scraping as much as he could off and just coping with a painfully spicy pizza. I have no idea why, but it was weirdly impressive.”

@LilyPesch

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