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Things you only know if you go to an all girls’ school

Do you know what lacrosse is? Do you still regard the male sex with an element of suspicion, and/or bafflement? Was your first kiss yesterday? Why then, you may be a surviving member of an all-girls’ school! Your struggle is real. Single sex schools can feel like the worst, so here’s everything you know if you went to one. (We feel you.)

Non-uniform days are no less stressful than if boys were there

Thought the lack of boys would make own clothes easier? Think again. You girls are your own (and everyone else’s) worse critics. You’ll spend weeks deciding on each element of your outfit and checking and double checking it with your fam. Wearing the same top as someone else will result in a wordless fight to death over who wore it best, to be judged on Insta later. Those who got away with wearing the most make up unnoticed will almost certainly win.

Make up is not allowed. Yes, Jade, mascara does count as make up

So does blusher. Jade, for pity’s sake, go to the bathroom and Wash. It. Off. Jade never quite got this rule – but she never stopped trying, bless her, and to this day I do not know if her eyes were really that large, or if she finally cracked and got permanent mascara.

There will be some gratuitous displays of wealth…

…and there will be girls desperate to hide how hard their parents are working to send them there, whose trainers are unbranded and whose hair is un-Brazilian blow-dried. All of you have a right to be there, and to be treated with respect…

…but girl, oh girl, there will be bitches

Both amongst your enemies, and amongst your dearest friends. They will bitch about ANYTHING, from clothes to cleverness, the way someone walks to their weight. You will try to resist them. You will, I’m sorry to say, almost fall short – because it’s insidious, this whispering and gossiping, and it will defy any attempts to avoid it. Do try, obviously – but if you fall short, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll grow out of it eventually, and so will (most) of your (true) friends.

Mealtimes are a nightmare

The majority of eating disorders sufferers are female and in the 14 to 25 range. I don’t need to tell you to do the math – if your school is anything like mine, you will know this simply from looking round your dining room at lunchtime. If a friend is suffering, betty has some advice as to how you could help.

Half the class has PMT at the same time…

Oh, the magic of menstrual syncing.

Swimming lessons will only have a 20 per cent attendance rate

See above.

TMI is your default setting

In fact, it’s weirder for you not to be able to discuss what shade of tampon you’re wearing and whether you’ve succeeded in avoiding weeing on the string part.

You only signed up to [insert extra-curricular activity undertaken with the local boys school here] because you wanted to meet the boys school

School plays, Combined Cadet Force, Duke of Edinburgh, volunteering at the old people’s home, choir, charity bag packing: you name it, and if it involved boys, you’re there.

You put make up on for the journey home

Obviously. There will be boys on the number 29.

That feeling when one of the 29 boys catches your eye

And unless it’s your brother, you’ve literally nothing to say.

Subjects are genderless

Who says physics is more or less ‘girly’ than english? No sis in your school – and that’s the legit thing about it. The concept of not being able to do something just because you’re a girl is beyond your conception.

When school is bad, it’s v unbearable…

But when it’s good it’s one of the most woke places you could be.

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Image: Hailey Hamilton

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