26 thoughts everyone has during an exam


2. Everything is fine, none of this matters. Nothing ever matters, we are specks of atoms in a gigantic purposeless universe.

3. Google said fish makes you cleverer, I should have had fish for breakfast.

4. I don’t know how fish would go with Weetabix though.

5. At least I have water. I’m going to drink lots of water.

6. But what if all the water drowns the revision in my head…?


8. Shereece put ‘Henry VIII’ for Q5 yesterday and I put ‘the reproductive system’ so let’s not have a repeat of that.

9. Ok, found my seat, good start, now just imagine everyone naked.

10. This was a mistake, that invigilator is an old man.

11. I can hear everyone’s heartbeats, I can hear their SWEAT.

12. This is terrible, I know nothing.

13. That’s a lie. I am a strong woman, I did my revision, I know more than I think I do.

14. But what if- NO, stop that brain. NO.

15. Ok, we’ve started. READ THE QUESTIONS CAREFULLY.

16. I can’t read, nothing makes sense. Do I need glasses? Can I borrow the invigilator’s glasses?

17. Why must people sigh so much? Are there extra marks for huffing?

18. Chris is ALREADY ON THE SECOND PAGE, HOW?! Did I lose consciousness for like, 20 minutes?

19. Hey, I know the answer to this one. And this one!

20. But not this one. I will come back to this one.

21. How is Mia writing so much. Why does she have SO MUCH TO SAY?!

22. I can’t feel my fingers, the circulation has gone. RIP. Now all I have is a claw. A claw with a purple lump on the side of my middle finger.

23. Oh crap, my stomach’s gonna rumble. I hope one of the huffing people huffs over it.

24. DONE! With 10 minutes to spare. Nice.


26. Ok now I’m done.


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