1. Yaaawn, this is a dull day. Why did I even– ERMAGHAD, there’s a photo booth! Everyone’s favourite tiny curtained fun palace! Brace yourself, Instagram – we’re going old school.
2. Urgh, the queue so long. Why is everyone so slow. Can I be bothered to wait? Hahaha of course I can. It’s a photo booth.
3. Ok, the first photo is a little bit like the first pancake – it’s always going to be the worst. Just do your best adorable smile and hope for the best.
4. Oh my god, why is the flash so bright?! I’m almost definitely going to be closing my eyes in that one. Alright, just gotta get past it and hope that the rest of them are good enough that no one notices the first dodgy one. Can’t peak too early.
5. Right, the classic funny face shot. I’m going to just stick out my tongue and make my eyes really wide: it’s timeless, it’s simple, it’s chic. Perfect. Except… Emily better be pulling a face. This better not be another one of those photos of the load of us looking like idiots and she’s just standing there smiling and looking impossibly hot. I’m just gonna glance over at her really quickly to make sure she’s rea–– *FLASH*
6. Oh ffs. You’ve got to be joking, that one’s going to be awful too. Ok, regroup, you’ve only got a few seconds left and it’s time for the candid laughing one – cue the awkward laughter! AHAHAHA. Why isn’t the photo taking, is the machine broken? AHAHAHA. This is a little weird now, just sitting here with my mouth hanging open and trying to look gleeful. Did a bug just fly into my mouth? I swear it my tongue tastes sort of bug-y. Ew. Ew. Ew. *FLASH*
7. Brilliant. Another disaster of a photo. Now the entire thing now hinges on the kiss on the cheek photo. I know Emily is going to want to be the one who has her cheek kissed but this is desperate times. I need this to be a good photo and everyone knows that the kissee always looks better than the kisser. I’m going to wait her out.
Yep, waiting her out. Stillllllllll waiting. Oh my god, is she really not going to do it? We need a kissing photo, a kissing photo is key to every single photo booth collage! Screw it, I’m going in. Wait, do I actually kiss her cheek or do I just sort of, er, hover near it. I think I kiss it. Yep I’m kissing.
Still kissing. They should really speed up how long you have to wait between photos because I’m pretty sure I’ve got saliva all over her chee–– *FLASH*
8. And it’s over. Incoming: a series of awful photos where I look like a hideous swamp monster who has never interacted with technology before. I don’t even know why we’re bothering to wait for them to print, I’m just going to beg Emily to throw them out because I am incapable of taking a decent photograph.
9. Hey, these are actually really cute! Is it just me, or are we… total babes? God bless the blinding flash and its ability to give everyone clear skin and shiny hair! Why does anyone bother eating healthily and drinking water and using deep conditioner when you can just pay £4 for photo booth pics and achieve the same effect?!
10. We should probably do another one so we have a set each, it’s just good sense really, isn’t it?
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Image: Kate Borrill