Friendships are complex, eternally changing and can be as full of feelings and drama as a romantic relationship. But there are also certain types of friends who can be just plain bad for you.
If any names come to mind when reading the below, that might just be a toxic friend worth binning…
The Drainer is the friend who pops up in your messages and you think, “Ugh, what now?” They’re always full of drama and LOVE dumping it all on you, without ever asking YOU how YOU are. They chat, chat, chat, chat, and, despite barely giving you a chance to reply, manage to exhaust you within half an hour of being together.
The Ignorer stresses every cell in your body without ever doing anything… because they hardly ever do anything. The complete opposite of The Drainer, they’re nowhere to be seen in your messages because they NEVER REPLY, and will happily leave the read receipt on. Satanists. They’re also likely to be flaky and drop out of plans last minute without much care, leaving you frustrated and feeling like you put way too much effort in.
The Jiber thinks they’re really funny. Too funny. They take great pleasure in poking fun at you, which in your books goes a bit beyond banter. They’re kind of mean and especially like to poke fun at your appearance, hobbies, and likes. They’re likely a very insecure person, evidenced by them FREAKING OUT if you dare poke fun at them, but it’s no excuse to be a dick.
The Negative Nancy
The Negative Nancy never has anything positive to say. They’ll go against any thought or opinion you have, just to be different or put you down, and put barriers up at any opportunity. They always have excuses to not do something, will find niggles in every choice you make and every opinion you have, and will make life feel utterly miserable.
The Manipulator is difficult to spot. You’ll need David Attenborough to come along to dig out their whereabouts and narrate their behaviours. They’re often passive aggressive and will never be obviously confrontational, but they’ll put doubts in your mind so you’ll side with them over anything. You’ll be pressured into doing things without even realising, and feel really confused about your thoughts and emotions as they play around with them. They are, we would argue, one of the most unhealthy species of toxic friend out there.
The Too-Attached is a hard one to deal with, because you don’t want to BE the dick. They really like you. Like, REALLY like you and want to hang out or talk ALL THE TIME. They’d sit by your feet as you did a poo if they could. They’re nice enough but a bit much, and may well guilt trip you when you say you can’t hang out. They make you feel responsible for their happiness and, the worst, send multiple texts instead of one long one. SO ANNOYING.
The Bragger can usually be seen on Facebook or Instagram. They only use it to shout about their newest purchases, most recent holiday, or amazing things that have happened, because their life is so perfect. When you meet up, they just repeat what they’ve said. They’re not bothered in asking how you are, and think they’re God’s gift. Getting them a gift card for their birthday is risky.
The Gossip goes beyond the standard little gossip you have when you get to school. They live for it. They want to know the gossip before it’s even happened, and hate people knowing gossip before them. They don’t care who it’s about or what it’s about. Anyone is fair game. This means they can’t be trusted and, in all likelihood, would happily create and spread the gossip about you.
If you think you may have some toxic friends, don’t panic! Weigh up the situation, maybe talk to a family member or friend (who’s not part of the group) for advice, and have a read of our article on how to unfriend someone IRL. It might help. And if you don’t think you have any toxic friends… maybe YOU ARE THE TOXIC FRIEND. No, just kidding. You’re lovely.