Summer holidays are the time for ice creams and floaty dresses and acoustic guitars outside pavement cafes. It’s the season of mangoes and mosquitos and… menstruating. Really, now?! Yup. Here’s how that’s probably going to go.
You’re all excited for summer
And then you start to feel a little, er, bloated
And your boobs are feeling a *bit* too tender…
Suddenly, it hits you…
You are riding the crimson wave my friend.
You think back to the tampon commercials of people splashing around the beach, and you hate them all because they are liars.
You are not splashing your friends on the beach looking carefree. You are tired and hot and grumpy.
You realise your life for the next few days is going to be less like this…
And more like this.
And you’re not quite sure if you’re game for swimming, so you just sit on the edge of the pool.
Because you’re not sure what would happen to your tampon if you actually went swimming.
You’re constantly reapplying sunscreen to your bloated belly
You’ve broken out in pimples and your boobs are achy
Makeup is pointless because you immediately sweat it off again
It’s so freaking hot
You practically go through the five stages of grief…
And finally, acceptance.
Because there is one silver lining. You have the world’s best excuse to eat all the ice cream you want.
Seriously. All of it.