1. What sound was that? Was that a smash or a thud?
2. Do I have insurance?
3. Can you buy insurance after it’s broken?
4. Oh please, please, please, please no.
5. I can’t look.
6. Why isn’t someone here to look for me?
7. If I ignore it and don’t pick it up, will it be like nothing ever happened?
8. What are the odds that my £2 case from Primark will actually protect my phone?
9. Why hasn’t anybody invented time travel?
10. What are scientists even doing with their time?
11. Maybe that’s a little harsh.
12. How much money do I currently have in my bank account?
13. Steve Jobs, Saint of iPhones, please watch over me during this trying time.
14. IT’S OKAY. IT’S PERFECT. IT’S SO SO SO SO BEAUTIFUL. I WILL NEVER, EVER LET YOU OUT OF MY PALM AGAIN YOU SWEET, BEAUTIFUL CREATURE.
15. 25% battery. What is this?! I charged you, like, an hour ago you ASSHAT.