Sponsored by Candy Kittens

Halloween, what a beauty. It’s the one time of year that your parents allow you to gorge on as many sweets as physically possible with absolutely no consequences, no limits and no nagging about sugar and teeth – just indulgent candy. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Mmmmm.

Heck, you’re basically Augustus Gloop, Bruce Bogtrotter and Joey Tribbiani all rolled into one. But does anyone else feel like Hallows Eve is a full-blown emotional eating rollercoaster? All the treats bring all the feels, after all.

Here are the seven stages we experience on loop, every single year…

1. Happy

Yaaaaaaaas. SO. MANY. SWEETS. I’m probably, actually in heaven. Which one first? Does it matter? They can all get in my mouth.

2. Disgust

Okay, OMG, did I actually just eat *all* of that? My veins are literally running with chocolate. Is a candy coma a thing because I think I might be about to slip int…Zzzzzz.

3. Regret

I mean, I’m impressed with myself because that was basically a professional eating standard but I knew this wasn’t going to end well. Why can’t I just pace myself like a normal human? My jeans won’t do up (I should have put my eating pants on, tbf) and I have the beginnings of some mean old stomach cramps. Yay.

4. Pain

OUCH. I honestly think I am about to give birth to a tiny chocolate monster who loves kicking the inside of my stomach like a football. Mmmm I haven’t eaten my chocolate footballs yet. NO. Remember this pain. No more chocolate. I need to lie down.

5. Sugar high

Where’s my brother? I feel like annoying him. Hey, his bed is pretty bouncy. Why isn’t he paying me enough attention? I mean, I know he’s asleep but GOD. Why’s he not laughing? This story I’m telling is hilarious. The song on the radio is sooo good, too. Isn’t my dancing great? HELLO?!

6. Come down

Why are my limbs so tired? Like I actually think they’re made of lead right now. I have never needed a nap so much. Yep, even when I was a baby. Ask my mum. The sweet struggle is real.

7. Longing

Okay wow, that was amazing. I smashed my way through 9 chocolate bars, 6 packets of sweets, some sherbert straws and a litre of pop. I am the candy champion of the world. Only 364 days until I can do the whole thing all over again. BEST DAY EVER.

Candy Kittens Pop Bags are available in October’ bettybox and instore at Sainsburys and Waitrose. Other sizes of packets are available on the Candy Kittens website.

 

Sponsored by Candy Kittens

Taking inspo from the sour blueberry Candy Kittens sweets in this month’s bettybox, we bring you blueberry eton mess. It’s sweet, simple and only needs one bowl, so you won’t even have much to wash up (which is all we really care about when cooking, isn’t it?)

For two bowls full, you’ll need:

200ml double cream
6 ready-made meringue nests
A punnet of blueberries
1 and a half tablespoons of caster sugar
As many Candy Kitten sweets as your heart desires
A whisk

1. Pop two handfuls of blueberries and 3 tablespoons of water in the microwave for 90 seconds, with half a tablespoon of sugar. This should make them soft and mushy, so get squishing with a fork. Be careful with the hot bowl!

2. Add the double cream and a tablespoon of caster sugar and whisk away. After some strong wrist action, the purple mixture will get thicker.

3. Get squishing again, but this time with your hands. Crush the meringue nests and add to the bowl. Mix in lightly with a spoon, but careful not to crumble the meringue into really small bits.

4. Sprinkle as many blueberries as you want on the top. Go cray.

5. Do the same with your Candy Kittens. All done. See, as easy as 1, 2, 3 (4, 5)!

Cold shoulder?

You can pop it in the fridge for 30 mins to make it a bit more mousse-like if that’s your pudding thang, but you don’t have to; your call, my friend.

Get sweet with Candy Kittens, which you can buy in store (find your closest stockist here), or online.

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Image: Kerri Walter