Many of us know that when parents separate, move apart or divorce it can be really difficult for everyone involved. There’s the obvious stuff, like where will you live? And how much time will you spend with your parents now? As well as the more emotional things, like will you feel closer to one parent over time? And what will happen if one of them meets someone else?

But all of this can be particularly tricky to deal with around Christmas time, especially if you and your family celebrated Christmas together before they separated.

But don’t worry, I know how it feels. And it feels, well, confusing! For starters, it doesn’t feel fair you have to change your Christmas traditions. But wait, it can feel exciting to have two Christmases to attend, promise. And it can also seem just plain sad when you have to arrange to see one parent for only a few hours – or even waaay before Christmas to fit in with other plans.

To make everything seem a bit more normal, I’ve charted the different thoughts you’ll have – and the inevitable stages you’ll go through – when you’re celebrating Christmas with divorced parents. Remember, you’re not alone.

How should I act?

Before you even begin planning and attending your different Christmases with different parents, you’re bound to start thinking what it’ll be like.

Whether you’re having one Christmas with one parent and another the day after, or a whole week with one and a whole week with another. Or just one Christmas with one parent and that’s that, it’s going to feel different.

Do we talk about the divorce?

Everyone is going through something different when it comes to separation and divorce. Some parents feel the decision was mutual and they both wanted it to happen. Others might feel sad and betrayed.

The same goes for the levels of communication. Some families discuss what’s going on openly, others don’t feel ready to for weeks or sometimes even years. Be patient with your parents. You can wait for them to bring up the subject or if you’re feeling a bit confused it’s totally fair for you to ask about what’s going on. I remember waiting until after we’d given presents and had Christmas dinner. I then asked calmly how everything was going. The key is: just do what feels right for you and your family.

It’s real Christmas, not fake Christmas

If, like me, you see one parent for “Christmas” when it’s not really Christmas (whether that’s on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day or a week after) I always find it’s good to pretend it’s Christmas Day anyway! Try to remember how it feels to be happy and festive and munching on a mince pie. Sure, everyone knows it’s not real, but if you try and make the most of it you’ll have so much more fun.

These aren’t our traditions!

Some families do different things every year, whether that means opening presents on Christmas Eve or on Christmas Day night, or having chicken instead of turkey, or eating a mince pie round the fire. But some do the same thing year upon year and create Christmas traditions. When parents separate it can be tricky to keep those traditions going.

Let’s make new traditions

The great thing is, you can create shiny new traditions. This can feel a bit sad sometimes. I remember missing seeing my dad’s family on Christmas Day like we’d done for years. But at the same time you can do something else that feels new, fresh and enjoyable. Now, my mum, my brother and I will always go for a big walk on the beach on Christmas Day wrapped up in our snuggly new scarves and gloves.

Stop embarrassing me and overcompensating

Newsflash: parents are humans too. If you’re feeling sad and confused about the separation, chances are they’re feeling the exact same way. This means your parents might be acting a bit weird because they want to pretend everything is normal. I get it, this can be really annoying – not to mention embarrassing. But remember that most of the time they’re being that way so you’ll have fun and be happy.

When do we have to leave?

If you’re on a tight schedule and have to see a parent, some cousins, your friends, your grandpa and another parent again all in one day, keeping an eye on the time can feel stressful. Make sure you have a rough idea of your plan before Christmas Day so you’re not rushed.

But I want to stay!

But even with the best plans, you’re bound to want to spend more time with one parent or relative. This well and truly sucks. But try your best to make the most of every minute, then arrange to see your mum or dad or gran again. Like having a NYE party instead or meeting for a big fry-up on New Year’s Day.

Maybe everything is OK?

Although everything can feel like a big mess after a divorce, it’s normal for things to feel OK as well. It doesn’t mean you’re betraying one parent if you have fun with another. Let yourself enjoy the new traditions, the awkward conversations and the busy schedule. You’ll be OK.

I’m grateful

We’re all going through very different situations. Parents that are together, parents that are apart. Some of us have siblings, others don’t. Some of us live with other relatives and don’t see our parents at all at Christmas. A great thing I try and do when it all feels a bit overwhelming is try to name just three things I’m grateful for. During the first Christmas I spent with my parents after their divorce I was grateful for my brave little brother, both of my parents and getting to have TWO Christmas puddings.

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What could be more fun than giving gifts to your best friends, with an added element of mystery and intrigue? Well, if we’re talking about Secret Santa, there are moments when having a brace fitted, cleaning a toilet or doing maths homework for the whole class might beat the activity in the excitement stakes.

It’s stressful, it’s intense and it can cause enough friendship fury to lay out the whole of Taylor’s squad. Still, it’s also fabulously festive, and we love it as hard as we hate it. We wouldn’t be without it. Here’s the typical timeline of your standard Secret Santa draw…

Draw doom

Depending on how organised you are, you might decide to start Secret Santa proceedings the old fashioned way – by ripping a bit of notebook into pieces, carefully writing down everyone’s name (and someone will hold everything up by insisting that this can only be done with a cinnamon scented gel pen, and they’ve definitely got one in the bottom of their bag, actually why not wait until Monday because they’re going to buy one from WH Smith?) Alternatively, you’ll get an app, and half of you will fail to respond because the confirmation email will get stuck in your junk folder, and one of you will try to sign in through Facebook on someone else’s computer and accidentally join the draw as your Dad.

Guess who?

“So, who have you got for Secret Santa?” is a question that can be asked so innocently and casually that it’s perfectly normal to reply “I’ve got Jennifer, and I’m really annoyed because she’s a pain to buy for and doesn’t seem to like anything and…SECRET! It’s supposed to be a SECRET, how dare you trick me! Anyway, who have you got? Want to swap?”

In the run up to the big present presentation, everyone will buckle under the strain of their own giddy festive excitement, apart from one person who will irritatingly hold out, and say “la la la, I don’t care who has who, I’m not listening!” It’s probably Jennifer. She doesn’t seem to understand that absolutely everyone else has worked out who she is buying for using a very simple process of elimination. And because she was seen buying a personalised notebook and glittery name stickers.

Budget busting

You swear to a pocket money-friendly £10 limit, and spend hours working out exactly how to play the Boots three-for-two system in order to get maximum bang for your buck. Then one of the Santas lets slip that she’s gone “way over” because she found the perfect thing and couldn’t resist. Her Santee freaks out and has to do some emergency chores or dig deep into her piggy bank in order to make sure both gifts are equally extravagant. The day arrives, and it turns out the “perfect” gift is a 450 colour eyeshadow palette made up of different shades of sludgy brown.

Sneaky gifting

You never draw the person you really want to buy for, which is a problem that can be dealt with in two ways. You simply put up with it, and acknowledge that’s all part of the risk of deciding to take part in a Secret Santa exchange in the first place. Or, you buy a special secret gift for your BFF, and you can’t resist spilling the beans about it because you’re hoping they’ll get you something too. Which brings you all straight back to the budget problem, as well as making the other people in the group feel rubbish because they don’t get a ‘special’ present.

You try to rectify this by buying several boxes of stripy candy canes and distributing them around the group. Someone gets one stuck to their coat, someone else requires an emergency dental appointment and no-one can face eating anything minty until the following May.

Santa’s schedule

Getting everyone together to swap gifts is the most exciting part of Secret Santa, and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be straightforward. Only you can’t do it on the last day of term, because half of the group are in junior windband and spending the afternoon playing O Holy Night at an old people’s home. You can’t do it the weekend before Christmas, because someone has to go to Scotland to see their Nan. You can’t do it at registration because you’ve all got to go to a special assembly in which the sixth formers will dress in tinsel and do impressions of the Physics teacher. You can’t do it early, because someone got their Mum to order something on Etsy, it’s coming from Canada and delivery takes 2-12 weeks. So you end up swapping gifts on the bus, in the middle of a traffic jam, still swaddled in scarves and gloves.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

@NotRollergirl

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School’s out! A fortnight of festive freedom! Think of all the things you will DO – the people you could see, the places you could go, the ambitious but satisfying projects you could undertake, the hours you could spend doing something wholesome and outdoorsy, like carol singing or tobogganing or skating on a frozen lake (because obviously your imaginary Christmas holiday takes place in a movie adaptation of a Dickens novel).

You could do all those things, but obviously you won’t. Because you’ll be asleep.

Mmmm, sleep. The greatest gift of all.’Tis the season for a lie-in, fa la la la la, la la zz zzzzzz. After you’ve spent the whole year getting up at basically the crack of dawn to achieve all that stuff you’ve achieved, and staying up late to keep up your social media presence in case people start to worry you’ve been kidnapped, all you really want for Christmas is a big, giant nap.

And here’s the good news: you deserve one. You need one, in fact. No matter how much your parents mutter about ‘lazy teenagers’, tut when you emerge at lunchtime in your pyjamas or nag you to get up and go for a 10-mile Boxing Day walk with them before handwriting 20 thank-you letters to your relatives. The truth is that in your teen years, a good night’s sleep becomes more important than ever before… but, and here’s the unfair bit, it’s also harder to actually get.

How many Zs are we talking?

Studies have suggested that between the ages of 10 and 20, we should be clocking up at least nine hours’ sleep a night. That’s an hour or two more than your parents need, and six hours more than Margaret Thatcher supposedly used to get (which explains some things). But even more interestingly, the pattern of sleep gets thrown off during adolescence – typically meaning that teen brains want to go to sleep later, but also sleep for longer in the morning. Sound familiar? Turns out it isn’t your habit of falling into a YouTube rabbit hole at midnight that’s to blame; it’s your BRAIN. And your habit of falling into a YouTube rabbit hole at midnight. A bit.

Mm sure, but why?

Science is helpfully vague on that question. “There must be an evolutionary reason why this happens,” says Neil Stanley, a sleep researcher at the University of East Anglia, who thinks that the culprit could be – what else? – hormones. “If sleep is important for memory and learning, and dealing with emotions, and repair and recuperation, then teenage years have an awful lot of that,” he told the BBC

During puberty your circadian rhythms (the ones that control sleeping and waking) are ‘reset’, a bit like turning a phone off and on again. Except that your phone usually wakes up faster and more alert, whereas you end up wanting to crawl into a burrow and hibernate until adulthood.

So how do I catch more than 40 winks?

You probably know plenty of the tricks – hot drinks before bed, a relaxing bath, switching off your devices early and banishing them from your bedroom (here’s our handy video) – but do you actually do them?

Thought not. Well, that’s a good place to start. Especially the devices one, which we KNOW is about as appealing as sleeping without oxygen in the room…. but all that scrolling can send your mind into overdrive when it should be winding down. Plus a recent study found that the blue light your phone gives off can mess up your natural sleep cycle, by suppressing the sleepy hormone melatonin and ‘fooling’ the brain into thinking it is daytime. Old-style alarm clocks might be due a revival, guys.

There are also bigger plans afoot in society to help teens get the start they really need, including recent recommendations that high schools should start and finish later, so everyone can have a good lie-in without feeling guilty about it. Some early research has suggested that later starts not only help you get more sleep, but also help reduce feelings of depression and irritability. So an extra hour’s kip might be good for more than just staying awake during Monday morning double maths.

Yawn. Are you finished yet?

Almost. While schools catch up and (hopefully) change their timetables, you can look after yourself by making sure you get as much sleep as you can, when you can. And if anyone tries to call you lazy, show them this article.

Although you really should write your thank-you letters. Sorry.

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Image: Amber Griffin

IIIIIT’S CHRIIIIIIISTMAAAAASSS! OK, not really, but if you’re the kind of girl who’s as festive as Mariah Carey then it might as well be.

Sure, some people might think you’re being extra by talking non-stop about December 25th when it’s only August, but who are they to judge your enthusiasm for mince pies? In fact, they better not pout and you’ll be telling them why…

Here are all the things you only know if you’re on that Christmas countdown already:

All your friends rolled their eyes when you wished them a merry half Christmas

What else is there to celebrate on June 25th?

Since then, you’ve been counting down the days ’til the big one

Someone should really invent an advent calendar to bridge the gap between December 25th and… well, December 25th.

Once X Factor starts it’s basically Christmas Eve

Everyone knows the drill: X Factor stars, X Factor ends, CHRISTMAS!

And when it starts, so does your Christmas shopping

One for them, two for you.

You’re the only person you know who loves wrapping

You’ve definitely considered applying to work in the Selfridges gift wrapping department.

As soon as Halloween’s over you begin eating allllll of the Christmas snacks

We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

And you would never risk leaving your advent calendar shopping to 30 November

Why would anyone leave their chocolate choice to chance? You NEED the Maltesers one, obviously!

You completely lose it the first time you see the Coca-Cola Christmas advert

And the second… and the third…

And let’s not get you started on Mariah Carey

Ooooh, baby!

Every Sunday in December is spent watching Christmas movies

Yeah, you watch The Holiday all year round, but it doesn’t really count. Miracle On 34th Street, The Santa Clause, Home Alone – THOSE are Christmas movies.

And every party calls for allll of the sequins

Glitz is to Christmas what animal ears are to Halloween: 100% necessary.

You can never sleep come Christmas Eve

No matter how old you get, you can’t shake the excitement.

But the Boxing Day comedown is real

Until you realise it’s only 364 days until Christmas!

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For Christmas this year, some people got bikes or new phones or cosy jumpers. Some people got a nice candle or earrings or a generic voucher from a relative that doesn’t know them that well.

Me? I got conjunctivitis.

Conjunctivitis is basically when the thin layer of tissue that covers the front of the eye becomes red and inflamed and, as a result, causes your eye to produce manky yellow pus that makes you want to crawl under the covers and hide. This option was made even more tempting by the fact that one of my eyes was literally sealed shut so I had to ply it open with the same precision I usually reserve for plucking my eyebrows or nibbling around the edge of a Kit Kat until only the wafer is left.

Conjunctivitis is not a disease suited to the festive period. Conjunctivitis in mid-February? Fine. You can hunker down and avoid seeing people for three straight days if needs be. Conjunctivitis in July? Easy breezy, chuck on a pair of sunglasses and you’re good to go.

But at Christmas, there’s nowhere to hide. You have to go to the party at your neighbours’ house. You’re expected at your cousin’s place to play endless games of charades. You’re practically legally obliged to see your grandparents. And then, on top of that, you have to see the family friend you used to have a crush on, knowing that for the next year, the image that they’re going to have of you in their mind won’t be of you in a nice sequinned dress, but of you with puffy red eye that periodically fills with gummy snot.

Almost every every single conversation I had over the four days while my eyes looked like the final, haunting scene from a horror film that keeps you awake at night was some variation of this:

Person: Hello!

Me: Hi – oh no, I wouldn’t hug me, I have conjunctivitis (lifting up my sunglasses and pointing at my gammy eye. Why conceal something when you could draw attention to it, right?) 

Person: (pulling a face and taking a step away from me) Oh. That’s… (person searches frantically for a word to say that isn’t ‘gross’ or ‘repulsive’) …unfortunate.

Me: Yeah, it’s all full of pus. And I can’t really see out of it at the moment so your face is slightly blurry.

Person: Oh.

Me: But you look great blurry. Er, not that you wouldn’t look great if you were, um, un-blurry.

Person: Is it contagious?

Me: Oh, it’s super contagious.

Person: (taking another step away from me) I mean, it’s not *that* bad.

Me: Really? I’m paranoid I have pus on my eyeball at all times.

Person: (pulling awkward face).

Me: I have pus on my eye don’t I?

Person: Only a bit. Well, actually quite a lot. But, er, Happy Christmas! (awkwardly pats me on the shoulder and makes a hasty escape).

Me: Brilliant.

After four days of avoiding any contact with anyone and baffling my family by wearing my sunglasses indoors, my conjunctivitis cleared up. Mercifully, I don’t seem to have passed on good ol’ pus eye to any of my loved ones – and let me tell you, I have never appreciated my normal, un-gummed eyes more.

Hopefully next festive period, the only thing I’ll be spreading is Christmas cheer.

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What do you do at Christmas? You spend time with friends and family, you share presents, and sometimes you make gingerbread houses. Here at Betty, though, we take things a little more seriously and decided to turn it into a challenge!

Fifteen minutes. Four betty girls. Two teams. Only one winner. We got betty girl Bex to judge, but who do you think was the best?

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You’ve finished school, you’ve brought all your presents (shh, pretend you have), you’ve watched Elf at least three times and you’ve been officially banned from the kitchen for picking all the marzipan out of the stollen. So what’s left to do? Deck yourself out like a Christmas tree, obviously.

Christmas is not a time to buy sensible face wash and nude nail polish and elegant taupe eyeshadow. Christmas is a time for razzle dazzle and puttin’ on the glitz. A time to cover yourself in so much glitter that your shortsighted Granny peers at your face and asks if you have a rash.

So to help you accomplish this final festive goal, here’s a shopping list of our shimmery favourites. Go on, shine bright like a diamond.

Shimmer limbs

full sparks

What, you mean you don’t make your arms and legs shimmer to match your lip gloss? Are you some kind of animal? Ok so the Full Sparks set is kind of ridiculous, but Christmas is all about being being ridiculous. Plus it’s £4.80 and smells like heaven.

Soap & Glory Full Sparks kit, £4.80, Boots

 

Lumos!

holiday-happiness

Tanya Burr always has our back. And our front. And our nails. And our cheeks. We’re huge fans of her cheek illuminator, and this shade is literally called ‘holiday happiness’ – for that just-had-a-gingerbread-latte glow.

Tanya Burr Holiday Happiness cheek illuminator, £6.99, Superdrug

 

Give it some lip

Nyx lipsticks

When you feel the need to go full goth rebel against your perfect cousin or create a stir at the carol concert, these luscious jewel-toned lippies from Nyx will do the trick. Dare you to blend all three.

Nyx Wicked lippies, £5.50, Boots

A twinkle in your eye

Glitter Top Coat Mascara

Make any mascara instantly festive with a sweep of this glitter top coat. And hey, if you put enough on, you can kid yourself it’s snowing.

Glitter top coat mascara, £7.20, Kiko

 

Panda to your whims

blotting papers

Ok, maybe you don’t always want to glow. Just the thing you need for those jumper + central heating + too much gammon + too many energetic rounds of charades = shiny, shiny face moments: the cutest blotting paper in the world.

Panda blotting paper, £3, Topshop

 

Disco tips

Mavala nail polish

Every shimmery shade in Mavala’s disco collection is worthy of your retro pointing fingers. Mix ‘n’ match the whole lot for maximum Chrimbo joy.

Mavala Nail Polish, £4.95 each, John Lewis

Here’s the gloss

Lip gloss

Why would you buy one festive lipgloss when you can have six for £6? This lustrous set by Seventeen will see you through till New Year without getting bored. Watch your hair in the wind though.

Sparkle and shine lip gloss collection, £6, Seventeen

 

Hopin’ and sprayin’

Wishmaker

We always suspected that Little Mix smell amazing, and here’s the proof: their Wishmaker body mist. Make a wish every time you spray – it’s easier than blowing out 100 birthday candles.

Little Mix Wishmaker Body Mist, £12 from Boots

Excess braggage

Max Factor excess shimmer

Christmas is a time for excess, and that’s true on your face as well your plate. So pile on this extravagantly shimmery shadow by Max Factor and become so dazzling that you can steal other people’s pigs in blankets without them noticing.

Excess shimmer shadow, £7.99, Boots

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Do you want to make your own Christmas baubles? If you’re subscribed to bettybox, then you’ll have a Bubble T bauble you can empty out and decorate. If you’re not subscribed, you can get some from Hobbycraft.

We’ve got three bauble designs here for you – The Disco Bauble, The Cool Yule and A Star Is Bauble. We used a hot glue gun, but you can use PVA glue instead. If you’re using a hot glue gun, make sure you get help from a parent or guardian.

Does your festive enthusiasm put Buddy the Elf to shame, or are you Grinchier than the Grinch himself? Let’s find out…

When do you think is the 'right' time to put up a Christmas tree is?

When did you stop believing in Santa?

What time do you wake up on Christmas Day?

What sort of present unwrapper are you?

Who’s your fave reindeer?

How do you feel about Christmas pudding?

In the school nativity play, your dreamed of being cast as...

Love Actually comes on the TV. What do you do?

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

They’re great once a month, but also great for this time of year! Using lace, glue feathers and glitter you can turn your tampons into beautiful tree decorations. We used a hot glue gun, but you can use PVA glue instead. If you’re using a hot glue gun, make sure you get help from a parent or guardian!

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

I have some really close family friends who, for the sake of this article, I’m going to call The Flintstones.

The Flintstones are excellent people. Growing up, I used to love going to their house. They had a trampoline and a pool and I was allowed to “help myself” to their chocolate stash. And yet, every year, when Christmas rolled around, I would dread seeing them because I knew what was coming.

There would be a gift, wrapped in that weird foil sort of wrapping paper with my name written neatly on it sitting under the tree.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the sort of person who judges a gift by its wrapping. And despite everything I’m about to write, I truly appreciate that they bought me a gift in the first place. Generally, anxiety is the furthest thing from my mind when I’m opening a present. I love tearing quickly at the two edges, I love the suspense, I love the 0.006 seconds before I form an opinion about a gift and instead just feel surprised and excited by the promise of this new thing in my hands. (I’m literally smiling at my screen right now evening thinking about opening presents).

But opening gifts from The Flintstones filled me with a cold panic. Every present from The Flintstones was bad. Not just a “well this isn’t quite to my taste” sort of bad, but rather the type of gift you open and mentally compile a list of things that you would have preferred to receive, such as a can opener or a paperclip clumsily bent into the shape of a star or a skirt that only fits over one of your thighs. I’m kidding. (I’m not).

But years of less-than-ideal presents have prepared me well in one respect. I have perfected one of life’s most sought-after skills: the ability to pretend to like something you hate. And now, I shall pass 15 years’ worth of lessons on to you, dear reader, in 200 words. Grab a notebook.

The ultimate guide to pretending to love a present you hate

Step 1: Take a deep breath

What you’re aiming for here is a low-level gasp. A gasp that says, “This gift is so amazing that it literally took my breath away and isn’t at all me buying time so I can think of how to react.”

If in doubt, channel Hillary Duff.

gasp

Step 2: Oooooooh

If you still need some more time to put your game face on, a long ‘Oooooh’ can buy you an extra second or two.

Young Will Smith gets it.

oooh

Step 3: Turn the gift over in your hands

This shows that you like the gift enough to not instantly want to hurl it at a wall.

The polar bear knows what’s up.

turn-over

Step 4: Establish eye contact

Establishing eye contact is crucial. It shows sincerity. Or at least, the appearance of sincerity, which is all we’re really after here.

Nicole Scherzinger’s been there, done that.

eye-contact

Step 5: Smile

You want to look happy, but not so happy that they know your happiness is fake. Ideally, you’re going for the type of smile you’d use if you found a £20 on the street, or if your crush told you that they liked your new jumper. A mix of surprised and happy. This is a smile that requires teeth, but doesn’t need to last more than a second.

Nicki Manaj-style.

smile

Hopefully by this point you’re free and clear, and they’ll have moved on to the next doomed recipient or been distracted by a bunch of rogue carol singers. If in doubt, ask your brother if he farted. Sing a song. Say you’re so overjoyed with the gift that you need a lie-down.

But at the end of the day, just remember the number one faker’s rule – sometimes less…

really is more.

kady

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Image: Getty

1. Chocolate for breakfast.

2. Chocolate for second breakfast.

3. And for third breakfast, a chocolate selection pack.

4. Legitimately not being able to eat lunch because you’re so full of chocolate.

5. Thankfully it’s Christmas, so such a thing as second lunch exists.

6. Pyjamas as daywear.

7. Changing pyjamas halfway through the day, because you have five million pairs of Christmas pyjamas and these ones are getting a bit musty.

8. Accessorising your pyjamas with novelty reindeer antlers.

9. Which actually belong to your pets.

10. Saying, “I”m going to make my own decorations this year!”

11. Making one bauble, then getting bored and giving up.

12. Making a gingerbread house! No one eats it, because no one can feasibly eat that much gingerbread. It gathers mould in a corner of the kitchen until your mum gets cross and chucks it out.

13. Throwing glitter on anything that stands still for longer than three seconds.

14. Including your pets.

15. Spending at least half an hour trying to get your glittery, antlered pets to pose in front of the tree for that ‘perfect’ Instagram.

16. Telling your best friend what you got her for Christmas because it’s so brilliant you can’t wait.

17. Then buying her another one because you feel bad for spoiling the surprise.

18. Remembering that Twiglets exist.

19. And eggnog lattes.

20. Crying during the sad bits in Miracle on 34th Street.

21. Crying during the sad bits in Muppet Christmas Carol.

22. Crying during literally any bit of any Christmas movie now, just because you’re on a roll.

23. Even if it’s a horribly-made film with bad acting and a plotline involving getting a boyfriend for Christmas, and was clearly filmed in July.

24. Accessorising your pyjamas with Christmas socks, a Christmas jumper, and a woolly hat whenever you leave the house.

25. Even though it’s about 18 degrees outside.

26. Justin Bieber’s Christmas album.

27. Singing “All I Want for Christmas is You” when you’re alone.

28. Wishing for snow, even though it’s still 18 degrees outside.

29. Every. Single. Snapchat. Christmas. Filter.

@orbyn

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