1. Chocolate for breakfast.

2. Chocolate for second breakfast.

3. And for third breakfast, a chocolate selection pack.

4. Legitimately not being able to eat lunch because you’re so full of chocolate.

5. Thankfully it’s Christmas, so such a thing as second lunch exists.

6. Pyjamas as daywear.

7. Changing pyjamas halfway through the day, because you have five million pairs of Christmas pyjamas and these ones are getting a bit musty.

8. Accessorising your pyjamas with novelty reindeer antlers.

9. Which actually belong to your pets.

10. Saying, “I”m going to make my own decorations this year!”

11. Making one bauble, then getting bored and giving up.

12. Making a gingerbread house! No one eats it, because no one can feasibly eat that much gingerbread. It gathers mould in a corner of the kitchen until your mum gets cross and chucks it out.

13. Throwing glitter on anything that stands still for longer than three seconds.

14. Including your pets.

15. Spending at least half an hour trying to get your glittery, antlered pets to pose in front of the tree for that ‘perfect’ Instagram.

16. Telling your best friend what you got her for Christmas because it’s so brilliant you can’t wait.

17. Then buying her another one because you feel bad for spoiling the surprise.

18. Remembering that Twiglets exist.

19. And eggnog lattes.

20. Crying during the sad bits in Miracle on 34th Street.

21. Crying during the sad bits in Muppet Christmas Carol.

22. Crying during literally any bit of any Christmas movie now, just because you’re on a roll.

23. Even if it’s a horribly-made film with bad acting and a plotline involving getting a boyfriend for Christmas, and was clearly filmed in July.

24. Accessorising your pyjamas with Christmas socks, a Christmas jumper, and a woolly hat whenever you leave the house.

25. Even though it’s about 18 degrees outside.

26. Justin Bieber’s Christmas album.

27. Singing “All I Want for Christmas is You” when you’re alone.

28. Wishing for snow, even though it’s still 18 degrees outside.

29. Every. Single. Snapchat. Christmas. Filter.

@orbyn

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