I was always a scaredy cat. When my friends were watching scary movies, I could be found in the room next door playing card games with their parents or sitting on the toilet seat in the bathroom, reading a book.

But, for some reason, I have always loved urban legends. I love how dramatic they are. I love the voices people put on, all deep and gravelly. I love the theatrics of the dark room with nothing but a torch underneath someone’s chin for light. I love the way my friends and I all grip each other’s hands so tight that they turn a delicate shade of purple.

Logically, we all know they aren’t really true. We know that none of these things really happened to anyone’s cousins boyfriends sisters. We know that it’s improbable that so many killers are on the loose – and if they are, we really need to re-think our prison system. But hey, why should ‘the truth’ get in the way of a good story?

So for Halloween we thought we’d share some of our favourite spooky stories… and I promise, they all happened to a friend of a friend of mine. Probably.

Workin’ like a dog

Dogs make everyone feel safer. They’re warm and cosy and they bark when there’s a strange noise outside. But I don’t think there’s anyone in the world that has ever found a dog licking their hand comforting after hearing this story…

dogsA young girl is home alone with her dog when she hears a killer is on the loose (obvs). She locks all the doors and windows before going to bed. In the night, she hears:

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

It’s coming from the bathroom. Frightened, (dripping is notoriously scary), she reaches underneath the bed and feels her dog lick her hand. Comfortingly. But the next morning when she goes to the bathroom, she finds her dog (skinned/decapitated/or just dead, depending on how twisted the person telling the story is) hanging in the shower, with his blood slowly dripping onto the tiles.

On the shower wall, written in the dog’s blood, are the words “HUMANS CAN LICK TOO.”

 

In the eye of the beholder

A girl was home alone at night watching TV on a sofa (seriously, where are these people’s parents?), when she glanced at the window and saw the hazy figure of a tall man. She quickly called the police but when they arrived, they didn’t find any footprints in the fresh snow… just watery footprints behind the couch.

“You are very lucky to be alive, young lady!” the policeman said.

“Why?” replied the confused girl.

“Because the man was behind the couch. That was his reflection you saw in the glass.”

Honestly, I know he was a murderer and all, but he could of at least wiped his feet before he came in.

 

Somebody hit the lights

A college student was studying late when she realised she had to nip back to her dorm room to pick up some more of her notes. So she wouldn’t disturb her roommate, she didn’t turn on the lights – just picked up her stuff from her desk and went back to the library.

Later, when she went back to her room, she found her roommate dead and a note written in lipstick on the mirror. It said, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t turn on the light?”

The moral of this story? Being a conscientious student might one day save you from being murdered. There’s a 99% chance a pushy parent came up with this one.

lights

 

Hooking up

A couple in a car had pulled over on the side of the road and were kissing when they heard an announcer on the radio say there was an escaped convict in the area. He was described as having a hook instead of a right hand (Captain Hook, we’re looking at you).

The couple were frightened (they’d probably seen Peter Pan), so they started the car and sped away. But when the boy dropped his date home, he walked around to open the car door for her… and hanging off the door handle was a hook.

So, studying and not kissing boys is the way to avoid being murdered? Let us get a pen.

 

No more clowning around 

This one seems particularly poignant considering the killer clown craze that’s going on right now (seriously 2016, what the hell?)

A girl is babysitting two kids while their parents are out for dinner. After they watch the news where (you guessed it) a killer is on the loose (also, what crappy babysitter makes kids watch the news?), the babysitter puts the kids to bed. A few minutes later, they come downstairs complaining that the clown statue is staring at them. The babysitter didn’t know what to do, so she called the kid’s parents.

“The children are frightened of the clown statue in their room. I was wondering if I should cover it up?” the babysitter asked.

“They don’t have a clown statue in their room,” comes the reply.

Dun, dun, DUUUUUUUUUUUUN.

clown

From this spooky sample selection, I think we can safely conclude that parents need to leave young girls at home alone less often, the prison system could step it up, and that in a weird twist, the 2016 killer clown thing might actually be more frightening than the actual urban legend. What a time to be alive, hey?

I don’t know about you but tonight, I’m sleeping with the lights on.

Got a favourite scary story? Share it with us on Twitter @bettycollective. 

My best ever Halloween costume was the time I dressed up as Margaret Thatcher – complete with cardboard and kitchen foil iron (she was The Iron Lady, after all). It was easy to assemble (a blue vintage dress, a cheap wig and the aforementioned iron), original and 100% not sexy: everything I look for in a Halloween outfit. Because the thing is, there’s nothing more boring than being the girl at the party dressed as a sexy witch. Or even worse, a sexy cat. *Shudder*

So, if you’d like to follow my lead and find yourself a last-minute, cheap as chips, easy-peasy and totally un-sexy Halloween outfit that no one else will have thought of (unless, you know, they’ve also read this), here are some suggestions…

1% phone battery

Is there any greater modern woe than finding yourself miles from a charger with only 1% battery? Of course there isn’t. Which is why 1% battery is the perfect Halloween look. Wear: head to toe black (could it BE any easier?), then simply top off with a 1% battery sign (which you can either print off or hand draw). I’d wear mine as a massive headdress (think flower headdress, but techie), but you could also stick it on your top. Easy peasy.

Roadkill

If you really have to go out dressed as an animal, may I suggest you go as one which has been run over? Because, well, this is Halloween after all. Smaller animals such as squirrels and hedgehogs work best for this. Simply wear the standard animal costume (fluffy tail, ears etc) and then accessorise with black tire marks and fake blood. Lots of fake blood.

Internet troll

Sadly lots of us will have encountered an internet troll at some point (boo), and while IRL you absolutely shouldn’t engage with them (it’s all about the block and reporting, peeps), as far as I know, there aren’t any rules against dressing up like one for Halloween.

Costume-wise, dress up like one of those Troll toys from the 90s (V topical, as the Troll movie starring Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberlake has just hit the screens), and jazz it up by pinning on some suitably spiteful comments. Oh, and obviously make sure to be extra loud and obnoxious all night.

Your ex

I don’t know what they looked like, what they wore or even how it ended, but I know they totally deserve to be lambasted in the form of your 2016 Halloween outfit. Probably. Or if not, feel free to go as one of mine (tweet me for details)!

Period on white trousers/ skirt/ dress

Too far? I think not! As anyone who has ever experienced this doom will attest – it is the absolute worst. All you’ll need is some white clothing (which a quick trip to Primark or your local charity shop should sort) and some red food dye or fake blood. Best of all, it’ll freak out all the menfolk. Boom. 

@MissSisiG

Halloween is creeping up on us (don’t turn round) but if you haven’t even thought about a costume yet, don’t panic – I’ve got you covered.

Before you rush out to your nearest shop to buy that last lonely tube of fake blood left on the seasonal shelf, I’ve gathered some of my favourite zero-gore, totally minimum-effort Halloween make up ideas that you can do with the products you probably already have at home, as tested on a real life face. Mine. Ideal to have on standby as a quick solution for those last-minute party plans your mates will probably spring on you.

Cheaty tips
  • I didn’t have any face paint so I just used some eye shadow with a layer of Vaseline underneath to give it a bit more grip and make the colours stand out against my skin!
  • Don’t worry if your hand is shaky. I like to use an eyeliner pencil to draw an outline and then go over it with liquid eyeliner to make those lines stand out better. And you can always tidy up the edges afterwards.

Spider queen

screen-shot-2016-10-26-at-13-50-41Because why wouldn’t you want an incy wincy spider climbing up the side of your mouth? Sparkly eye shadow is always fun, so use it as a base for your cobweb to really draw attention to your spidey-eye.

Difficulty: 4/10. Scariness: 4/10. Products used: 3.

You’ll need:
Sparkly eye shadow in your favourite colour 
Vaseline
Black kohl pencil and/or liquid eyeliner

 

Creepy dollscreen-shot-2016-10-26-at-13-48-51

This is probably one of the creepiest of the lot, so we wouldn’t blame you if you get progressively freaked out as you finish off the look. Team with a cute dress and pigtails for the full package.

Difficulty: 5/10. Scariness: 8/10. Products used: 4.

You’ll need:
White face paint or eyeshadow
Black face paint or eyeshadow
Red lipstick
Black kohl pencil and/or liquid eyeliner

 

Dead seriousscreen-shot-2016-10-26-at-13-50-23

You can’t fault a classic, guys. We love this one because it’s so soooo easy to pull off and you can also get away with putting minimal effort in to your outfit. Because skeletons still wear clothes, okay?

Difficulty: 3/10. Scariness: 7/10. Products used: 3.

You’ll need:
Black face paint or eye shadow
Whit face paint or eye shadow
Black kohl pencil and/or liquid eyeliner

 

Not-so-funny jester

screen-shot-2016-10-26-at-13-49-13

The humble jester is always a winner. Not too lol, not too scary; ticks all the boxes. Admittedly it’s a little bit fiddly to draw the shapes around your eyes, but if you take your time and draw outlines with pencil eyeliner first, you’ll nail it.

Difficulty: 6/10. Scariness: 6/10. Products used: 3

You’ll need:
Colourful eye shadow in your favourite colour
Vaseline
Black kohl pencil and/or liquid eyeliner

 

Lioness

screen-shot-2016-10-26-at-13-49-51-1

Forget the pet cat, it’s all about the lion! This is a really fun one if you’re not into the whole scary thing but want something cool to dress up as. Once you’ve got all of your features down, shower shimmery bronzer along your cheekbones and forehead to really get glow that Aslan glow.

Difficulty: 5/10. Scariness: 2/10. Products used: 4

You’ll need:
Highlighter/concealer/foundation one or two shades lighter than your skin tone
Black kohl pencil and/or liquid eyeliner
White face paint or eye shadow
Bronzer. Lots of it.

@JazKopotsha