Because until Unicode releases a pad emoji, we’re going to have to improvise…

Crystal ball, crystal ball, when will my fallopian tubes release an egg and fall? The calendar says I’m definitely due, but when will it happen? It’s up to you!

Unamused emoji

Hnnnngh. I’m bloated, I’m farty, and my makeup keeps sliding off of my face. I am going about life with the grace of an elderly widow who hits dogs with her walking stick for fun.

Crying emoji

It is eight in the morning and I am crying at that Gumtree advert where the man buys his daughter a piano.

Flushed face emoji

Oh, god. There’s a sudden warm, damp feeling in my knickers, and it’s definitely not wee. At least, I hope it’s not wee.

Please don’t be wee.

Expressionless face emoji

Ok, while I AM relieved that I haven’t wee’d myself in the middle of class, I do have my period, and I somehow don’t have a tampon or a pad. WHY does this always happen to me? I’m practically tripping over tampons 90% of the time, and now I actually need one, they are nowhere to be found.

Ogre emoji

There is so much blood in my life right now that I feel like I’ve just performed a pagan slaughter. I change my pad, and ten seconds later, I’m changing it again. I am the red troll, and should be sent to live in a cave where I can just bleed and bleed forever.

Dark blue moon emoji

I don’t know if it’s true that women’s period cycles are linked to the moon, but I feel very attuned to nature now. It is possible that I am maybe a witch.

Donut emoji

You know how most people have a bit of bread with their soup? Is it possible to apply the same logic to donuts with your ice cream? Are donuts an acceptable side dish? If I eat everything in my house, will this horror eventually end?

Bunny women emoji

Turns out my best mate is on her period too! Call me Justin Timberlake because I am NSYNC.

Half moon emoji

My period appears to be at least half over. Am now changing my pad three times a day, as opposed to eight.

praise hands emoji

Oh my god, is it over? Already? I thought I had at least two days left. YES MATE!😓

False alarm. My period is back. Cancel Tuesday.

@Czaroline

How long should my period last?

We all know that an hour of maths homework feels longer than an hour of hanging out with your friends. It’s science or, er… something.

It’s the same phenomenon that can make a day on your period feel like a week. But while it feels like forever, how long is it actually meant to last?

Can this be over already?

When you first start menstruating, there will probably be some variation in how long your period lasts, but it could be anywhere between one day and 10 days. It’s also likely that your period will be a bit irregular, stopping and starting and stopping and starting more times than Ross and Rachel in Friends.

When your cycle gets more regular, you will have a better idea of how long your period will last.

Okay, but what’s the average?

Generally, periods last for anywhere from two to seven days. Once your uterus has stopped jumping up and down with all the excitement of puberty, things should become fairly consistent. So, if you’re one of the #blessed people who have three-day periods, it’s likely they’ll stay that way for a while.

TL;DR? Here's the important stuff:
  • When you first start menstruating, there will probably be some variation in how long your period lasts, but it could be anywhere between one day and 10 days.
  • When your cycle gets more regular, you will have a better idea of how long your period will last.
  • Generally, periods last for anywhere from two to seven days.

We know it can feel like your period is going on forever, but that doesn’t mean you’ve drawn the short straw in the uterus lottery. Those who have periods for three days might find they’re more intense, like a 100m sprint. Whereas those who have a full week or more might find that their period is longer but lighter (you know where this is going), like a mile-long jog.

Either way, you’ll find out what’s the usual deal for you. And remember – sometimes 10 is better than one…

puppies