The last person is in the car; the last instructions – “don’t forget to take the chicken out of the oven at 3” – have been issued. You’ve had an induction course in the central heating system you mastered five years ago, and been told where the healthy snacks are. Twice.

Finally the door slams. You’re alone: at home, alone, for three blissful hours in which no one can tell you what to do or not do, eat or not eat. And from that moment onwards, these are the thoughts you have.

1. FREEEEDOM. I can do anything I want. Literally anything. Aaaannnyyyything.

2. What shall I do?

3. Netflix! Where free teenage wills go to party. A three hour binge of my favourite ever show. Money can’t buy this stuff. What to watch though, that’s the question. What to… watch…

4. Riverdale! Obvs. But where did I get up to? Was it seven? or eight? What if START watching eight and then completely ruin 7 for myself? I’ll watch seven again to make sure.

5. Have I watched this before? It does feel kind of familiar… did I see the attic part? On ninth thoughts, I’m going to do something else until I remember where I left off.

6. Something productive. Like, get beyond chapter two of that doorstop of a book Uncle Pete gave me for Christmas. 2015. I’ll just check Instagram quickly first though.

7. OMG Jess’s beagle is so cute /  Mmmmm lemon drizzle /  Charcoal lattes? Srlsy / Totally regramming that inspirational quote. In a minute. /  Seriously that beagle kills me every time / Want. / Just look at its little paw! / Want-need-have-to-have those earrings /  K, Jess, enough of the beagle now / Ah, Siobhan looks nice, where is she? / Isn’t that Ashanti’s house?! / GABS TOO?!? / They’re all there! Why wasn’t I invited?

8. Great. My friends hate me. I’m literally the only one in the world not at Ashanti’s right now.

9. What was I doing again? Oh yeah. Back to the book I go. At least it will distract me from my misery. Which chapter was I on? I will just get some chocolate first though, before I get stuck in. Would be a shame to break off halfway through out of hunger.

10. MuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUM! WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN THE CHOCOLATE??!!!

11. FML.

12. No really where is it. The stair cupboard? The garage? Her bedside drawer?

13. I CAN NEVER UNSEE WHAT I JUST SAW IN HER BEDSIDE DRAWER. Has she NO sense of privacy?

14. Well at least that’s put me off the chocolate. Back to the book! I am a leetle bit hungry, though. Where did they say the healthy snacks are? Damn, should’ve listened.

15. Never mind. Sure I can casually rustle something nutritious and satisfying up.

16. Coco Pops it is! Now. This book…

17. JC WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?

18. It’s FINE, it’s only the wind. They must have left a window open or something. Just going to take a look though. Can’t be too sure.

19. No I’m not.

20. Yes I am.

21. No, I’m not. What if it murders me? What if the noise murders me?

22. There! That was it again! That was DEFINITELY a NOISE. If I can make it to the bathroom then I can lock that door and read in safety. Worst case scenario, jump out the window.

23. But what if it burgles the house?

24. Surely they would want me to save myself. Wouldn’t they. Or would they?

25. There it is again! I swear to god it’s getting so closer. I am SO SCARED. WHEN ARE THEY COMING HOME? WHY HAVE THEY ALL LEFT ME?

26. Wait. Did they take the dog? IT’S THE BLOODY DOG! Come here boy. You little… actually can you smell burning? Because I sure…

27. Ohhhhh sh*tting hell. The chicken!

28. It’s unsalvageble. It’s like a tree stump in a field of burnt onions. Can you inject moisture BACK into a chicken? What are the chances of getting a roast chicken Deliverooed to the house before they return, I wonder?

29. GAH. That’s them. How time flies when you’re having… fun.

@finney_clare

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If you’ve ever watched an episode of Pretty Little Liars, you’ve probably had a moment where you’ve thought to yourself, ‘I mean, their clothes are fabulous and their hair is always on point, but no one really does this stuff.’

For example; no one kills a girl in a theatre with a gun that was a prop for a play, no one gets buried alive by their own mother, no one hits that many people with a car.

But it turns out some people are real life PLL, and we’ve found some of them.

The massive over-reactor

You thought your summer holidays were bad? An American 15 year old called 911 from a rental cottage in Trent Hills, Ontario to complain that her family had “forced her” to go on holiday with them.

The police showed up to the cottage to make sure everything was A-okay, and found that it was just a regular family vacation, probably down to the Monopoly board on the dining table and the factor 30 sunscreen near the door.

The vain one

On the other side of the Pacific, another girl had her own run in with the cops. Amy Sharp, 18 escaped from a Sydney police station two weeks ago. The police quickly released a statement alerting public to the fact that Amy was on the loose and shared it on Sydney’s 7 News Facebook Page:

Mugshot

Within minutes, Amy commented on the image saying:

Replacement photo

Now tell me that doesn’t have Hanna Marin written all over it.

But Liars-level badassery starts young. If Aria’s taught us anything, it’s that sometimes the smallest people are the bravest ones.

The political ones

The manager of USA Freedom Kids, who you might remember from this incredibly weird performance at a Trump rally:

Well they’re now suing the Trump campaign. The girls manger, Jeff Popick claims that the campaign reneged on a verbal agreement to pay for travel and expenses.

The brave one

And this week, New Zealand found the “bravest little girl in the country.” Sarah Patel is only six, but when a group of attackers entered her father’s electronics store in Auckland on Monday afternoon, she confronted one of them. And like, no big deal, but the attacker was holding an axe. A freaking real life axe.

Sarah told the press that she was just trying to save one of her father’s employees and she wasn’t scared.

It seems that there are plenty of bad-asses outside of Rosewood.

Sometimes, the internet gets you down. Instagram makes you wish that you were somewhere in the Bahamas; Snapchat makes you wish that your parents had lets you go to Daisy’s birthday pool party; YouTube makes you wish you could do amazing winged eyeliner.

But then sometimes, the internet gives you a gift, something so absolutely perfect that you literally have to spend a minute just starting longingly at the screen. This is one of those things.

You know the only thing cuter than babies, with their chubby legs and their gummy smiles?

Babies dressed as old people.

Why is this so cute? Well, there are a number of theories being bandied about at the betty offices.

Theory #1

Babies actually look a lot like old people. They have thin hair and gummy smiles and they sometimes need help walking.

oldmanboy

Theory #2

Their chubby cheeks actually support glasses really well. And my god, they can rock a cardigan and mid calf socks like it’s nobody’s business.

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Theory # 3

Old people sometimes have a wistful look in their eye; a look that says “I have been places and I have seen things. I remember the day JFK was killed and the day the Neil Armstrong landed on the moon”. It’s pretty much the exact same look that babies get when they learn the word for ‘pasta’ or take two steps without falling over.

Screen Shot 2016-10-04 at 11.48.04

Look, it’s impossible to really pinpoint what exactly is so cute about paediatrics dressed as geriatrics, but let’s not explain the magic away. Let’s just stare at the adorable tiny humans and weep.

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Stop whatever you are doing. No, I mean it.

If you’re painting your toenails – abandon it mid-toe, no one will notice.

If you’re watching an episode of Gilmore Girls, press pause. Like, actually press pause. The only background noise that is appropriate for this level of adorableness is this song, so put it on before you scroll.

If you’re performing open heart surgery – yeah, you should probably carry on doing that. But as soon as you’re done, you should look at this.

In Melbourne, Australia there was a dachshund race this weekend. In case you’re unfamiliar with dachshunds, they are the most ridiculous looking dogs, with long bodies and tiny, tiny legs, often known as sausage dogs. Because, you know, they look like sausages.

Watch their tiny legs!

Dachshund Racing #sausagedog #puppies #hophausdachyrace #races #costumeparade with @misssubashini

A post shared by Emily Armour (@suitsofarmour) on

And, because sometimes the world is truly a magical place, there is also a dress up competition.

There was Longfellow. Who has a lead made of sausages and was dressed as a Pokemon trainer. Longfellow, you caught all of our hearts.

This is a dog dressed as a taco. A TACO. And his body is the sausage. Wahh.

#hophausdachyrace #tacos

A post shared by Kath Acton (@kath1199) on

What is this, you ask. Is that a tiny dog dressed as a tiny bus? With picture of other, even tinier dogs in the windows. Why, yes, yes it is.

We are so excited to be sponsoring the Dachshund Race in Melbourne today. 1st, 2nd & 3rd in each of the 4 category finals each take home @rosehipvitalcanine – as do the 1st, 2nd & 3rd in the costume competition. Now those are some lucky daxies!! 💙🙌 This morning our friend Naomi & her beautiful boy pictured here (Joshie) from @my_dachshund_online were interviewed on ABC 774 about the event! They are raising money for Dachshund Rescue Australia. Our friends @bella_and_bailey_the_dachies & @frankiethelilsausage will be there too. Good luck everyone 👏💖💙 #hophausdachyrace #rosehipvitalcanine #wienerraces2015 #raffle #donate #showbags #dachshund #dachshundlove #dachshundsonly #dachshundoftheday #dachshundsofinstagram #dachie #doxie #wiener #sausagedog #minidachshund #standarddachshund #weekend #weeklyfluff #aplacetolovedogs #my_dachshund_online

A post shared by Rose-Hip Vital Canine (@rosehipvitalcanine) on

These ones are in love, guys. They are in love. And they’re a bride and groom and it’s just too much.

Outside the church on the way home from the dachshund races #hophaus #hophausdachyrace #doggroom #dogbride

A post shared by Jenny Stokes (@kiwiaussiedachs) on

This is an animal dressed as another animal. It’s a dog dressed as a purple octopus. Except, it’s got the eight fake legs and four real ones, so it’s more like a dodeca-pus. Whatever, it’s cute. Accept it.

Then there was this little guy, who looks like the perfect prom date.

Chillin in the VIP area like… 😑 #nophotosplease . . .

A post shared by ➖ Monty ➖ (@monty_mooo) on

And finally… the tied winners of the fancy dress prize were these tiny criminal sisters. Their owner Olivia even got in on the fun, dressing up as a police officer that was accompanying her miniature delinquents. In case you were wondering, but didn’t believe it was possible for anything to be quite this cute, yes those ARE striped cupcake holders on their heads that look like tiny hats.

Thanks for dressing up with us our favourite hooman Livvy! #hophausdachyrace #bestdressed

A post shared by Ruby&Lola Sausage Dog Sisters (@rubyandlolasausagedogsisters) on

Ok, now you can go back to your toes or Gilmore Girls. You’re welcome.

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Image: Getty