People who say they enjoy giving presents more than receiving them are lying.
Only joking, I’m not that selfish… Of course it’s nice to show a little love by putting a smile on a friend or family member’s face.
But some people are just so hard to buy presents for. You want to get them something personal, but not too cliché. Something special, but that they’ll get good use out of. And most importantly, something that stays in your meticulously calculated budget.
Fear not, fellow frustrated festive friends! This guide will tell you EXACTLY what to buy. Kinda.
The sulky sister
If you’re lucky enough to have a sister who doubles up as a BFF, you’ll probably have no problem knowing exactly what she wants. But what about if you have an older sis in 6th form who thinks it’s social suicide to talk to you in the school corridor?
You could give her a tee-shirt with a huge print of your face on it along with the words ‘REMEMBER ME, SIS?’. Or, you can emotionally guilt trip her for being so cold in public by giving her the biggest ‘best sister ever’ mug you can get your hands on.
The grumpy grandparents
Ah, if only all grandparents were the lovely, cuddly, adorable Granny and Pops promised in your childhood stories. The reality can often be a grumpy grandad who tells you to ‘shh!’ whenever the radio is on, and a trickster granny who likes to sit back with a cup of tea while you mow the lawn at her request.
Grandpa might appreciate a radio manufactured in this decade, along with a pair of headphones so that he can plug in and totally avoid your attempts at conversation. And how about giving gran a cactus for her precious garden, which requires minimum care and resonates with her prickly side?
The cool mum
She’s far from being a regular mum, and boy does she like to remind you of that. She sings along to every single song on Radio 1 in the car and is a huge Drake fan, much to your friends’ amusement. And her shoe collection is stacked higher than the Times Square Christmas tree, yet she refused to buy you those 6-inch-high heels last month.
You could use this to your advantage! Get her a ticket to the next big arena concert and get one for yourself. This means you’ll definitely have someone to go with, who’ll buy you some merch, be your taxi driver for the night and not judge your singing voice.
The sports-mad dad
And it’s not even the exciting sports like football, rugby or athletics. It’s cricket and car racing and darts. There are only so many times you can sit and watch a game of golf with him on a Sunday afternoon.
So how about getting him a doll or teddy bear? This means he’ll have someone to explain the rules to, express his frustration at and shout ‘I can’t believe her just did that’ with – and that person will no longer have to be you! Win-win.
The too-cool-for-school new SO
It’s your first Christmas with your new boyfriend or girlfriend and you MUST impress them. The whole reason you wanted to go out with them in the first place is because they are like the coolest person on the whole planet.
Give them a selection of vinyl records even if they don’t have a record player. This means that they’ll think you’re the cool one (which you most probably are anyway) because you casually buy vinyl. Not sure which records to get? Just listen to Radio 6 one morning and scribble down every track they play.
The bothersome brother
He gets you in trouble all the time and he laughed at you that day you tripped over your own foot in the supermarket, but he did give you his last Skittle once and you love him – so he deserves a little something, at least. It might be worth investing in this one, guys. It could cut you a lot of slack in the coming year ahead.
Order a headshot of his favourite footballer and forge the signature, get tickets to his favourite band on the condition that you can be his guest, ask your best friend – who he fancies – to give him a Like on Instagram – do what you can to keep this important ally.
If all else fails, just get them a scented candle. Everyone likes scented candles.
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