1. I wonder if these will be the trousers that change my life forever.
2. Why is it always so hot in here? Is it just the body heat generated by changing in and out of clothes, or have I accidentally signed up for, like… Bikram shopping?
3. These are probably not the trousers that will change my life forever.
4. I’ll stand on tiptoes though, just to be sure.
6. Saved myself £24.99! I am a financial wizard. I’ll probably have a three-bedroom house by the time I’m 20.
7. Could I class changing in and out of clothes I definitely don’t want as ‘exercise’? It feels like cardio.
8. This mirror is probably wrong. I will open the curtain and look at the mirror in the cubicle opposite, just to be sure.
9. Mirrors should be banned.
10. Why can’t I get this thing off? Has it shrunk in the tropical humidity? Why don’t they realise that we’re never going to buy things if we feel like a puddle in a jumpsui– hang on, am I… stuck?
11. It’s fine, I’m not stuck. Deep breaths.
12. Was that a seam ripping? Ok, shallow breaths.
13. I’m stuck.
14. They will have to call firemen to cut me out. It’ll be in the newspaper. ‘LOCAL GIRL STUCK IN JUMPSUIT, LAUGHED AT BY ASSEMBLED CROWDS’.
15. Ok, if I just slightly dislocate my shoulder and do a kind of wiggly dance…
16. Free! I am free! Sweet freedom! I will never take my limbs for granted again.
17. Do I want to buy it though? Did it look sassy before I got stuck? I think it did. Maybe I should put it back on again.
18. This is fantastic lighting for squeezing spots. I should save them all up especially.
19. I wonder if anyone has ever died in here?
20. Tell you what’s still alive and well though – my KILLER sense of personal style.
21. If I just stayed very still and quiet, could I get locked into the shop and spend all night trying on the clothes?
22. But why would I want to do that, when this is such sweaty hell?
23. Films. It is because films make trying on clothes look like fun.
24. BUT WAIT, this isn’t a skirt at all! It’s a top!
25. It’s a nice top too. Imagine how good it would look if I wasn’t wearing it with emoji socks, pants and a hoodie tied round my waist instead of a skirt.
26. I think this might be the top that changes my life forever.