You don’t need us to tell you what Crocs are. You probably just did a face at the very thought of them, didn’t you? Blargh. If Monday was a shoe, goes the meme, it’d be Crocs.
Until recently, the only acceptable reasons to wear Crocs were these: you were under the age of seven; you were over the age of 70; you were a nurse; you were a chef; you were doing the gardening or bringing the shopping in; all your normal shoes had been destroyed in a zombie apocalypse and they were the only pair available for you to run away in. That’s it.
But not anymore! Because (SHOCK PLOT TWIST) Crocs have gone fash. We repeat: Crocs are now a style item. The sky is pink. It’s snowing coconut. Left is now right and right is now left, night is day, nothing makes sense anymore and Crocs are now something the biggest fashionistas on Instagram are wearing without anybody holding a puppy hostage or anything.
It all began with Christopher Kane, the British mega designer who sent models down the catwalk at his Spring/Summer 17 show wearing special fancy versions of the rubber clogs – printed to look like marble and decked out in ‘earth stones’ (so… stones) for the casual price of £275. Next followed winter versions trimmed with – what else? – faux fur, for that real ‘snow queen taking the bins out’ look.
Then, because this is what fashion does, the Croc slowly started creeping (clomping) off the catwalk and onto our Instagram feeds, on the feet of girls whose style we usually love to steal. Cue massive fashion confusion – or as we like to call it, ‘confashion’.
Told those cowboys at @manrepeller how comfy my @christopherkane Crocs were and they challenged (KEY WORD, THERE) me to see if I could wear them IRL. Because questioning 'repellant' fashion, after all, is the very premise upon which their site is founded… Read about my day spent in foam unicorn feet ~ link in bio 📸 @tilfrances
Are they still hideous? Or actually kinda cool? Do we want to wear them, or burn them? WE CAN’T TELL.
Whether the trend will die as quickly as it started, or we’ll all be clonking about in Crocs in a few months’ time, we just don’t know guys. We don’t know.
But one thing we do know: if we do, we’re going to be so frickin’ comfy.