Why do phones have to be so totally needy? If you don’t plug them in every five minutes, that “low battery” warning is just gonna keep flashing in your face until the cold, hard dread hits: you are literally moments away from being out of comms. Here’s 48 kinda crazy thoughts that could rush through your about-to-be-offline brain.

1. Wait. 4%. It said 23% like two seconds ago. What? How? I can’t even.

2. Whyyyy didn’t I charge it before I got on the bus?!

3. I knew I shouldn’t have updated Insta.

4. And spent all that time messing about with Snapchat filters.

5. And done my whole make up looking in the front camera.

6. And watched the new PointlessBlog on YouTube.

7. And made a “BFs forevs” collage and Whatsapped it to my mates.

8. OK, OK, I get it. No wonder my phone is hot enough to cook a waffle. Well done little guy, you actually got quite a lot done with that 19% of battery.

9. Maybe this next 4% will last ages! I’ll just stop watching videos and it’ll probably be fine until I get home.

10. I wonder how long that’ll take. Best just check on Maps.

11. 25 minutes. Can 4% last 25 minutes? There must be some kind of equation I can do to work this out.

12. 3% BATTERY?! WHAT?? Measly Maps used up a whole percent? I’m never opening that app again.

13. Better save some juice in case I get any VIP messages. I’ll dim the screen. (I wish I meant from some super-hottie who just HAS to get in touch. What I actually mean is from Mum. She has zero tolerance for slow replies).

14. The screen’s gone black! It’s dead! I’m dying!

15. Maybe my phone’s actually broken. Death would be sweet relief.

16. Oh, it’s back. I think I just blinked.

17. Right, that’s it, I just won’t touch it at all. That’s totally cool. I’ll just pop it in my bag and look out of the window.

18. Oh look, a bird. This is what people used to do in the olden days: look at birds out of windows. I’m a birdspotter! Or it is birdwatcher? I should call and ask Granddad, he’s into that kind of thing.

19. Nope, that’s not worth risking 1%. Not important!

20. I wonder what kind of bird it is though. That’s important. That’s educational. I’ll just quickly check.

21. Stop – no Googling! Think “Olden days” and work it out. It’s grey and it’s eating a bit of kebab: it’s probably a pigeon or a seagull. Look out, David Attenborough.

22. Hmm. What DO people think about when they don’t have their phone?

23. My hand feels weird. My thumb aches.

24. Ummm… my family? I could think about them. I wonder if Auntie Julie has posted anything on Facebook recently. Probably some cartoon about her kids making her want to drink gin and a “Click here to get a £50 Tesco voucher” link.

25. I’m worried about Auntie Julie. Someone needs to tell her about scams. I’ll text her.

26. NO! No texting. Don’t even touch that bad boy.

27. OK. What about Ed Sheeran – I wonder what that guy is doing right now. I would check his Insta but I can’t, which is totally fine. He’s probably sitting in his bedroom writing a song.

I could write a song. Something about the agony and heartache of only having 3% battery on your phone.

28. Maybe it’s recharged itself a little bit. That can happen, right? I’ll just tap it quickly to check.

29. 2%! What is this painful existence they call life? Why would this happen to me?

30. Oh yeah. Cos I didn’t charge my phone earlier.

31. I should probably text Mum to warn her about this developing sitch.

32. Maybe I should change my Whatsapp status too. There are probably loads of people wondering why I haven’t replied to their messages. Should I Snap as well?

33. Isn’t there some magical way of charging your phone without electricity? You plug it into a lemon or a potato or something.

34. If only I had a lemon or a potato.

35. If I had enough battery, I could be doing my homework right now. I could be planning a holiday. I could be tweeting the Prime Minister about getting plug sockets installed on all buses. I could be writing a song. I could have been the new, female Ed Sheeran: Edie Sheeran. I could’ve been a millionaire. What a waste of youth and talent.

36. Maybe I should get off the bus and find somewhere to plug it in. Could I walk into a corner shop and ask them to charge it? What about a fish and chip shop? Is it OK to knock on someone’s door and ask to use their electricity? I could say it’s an emergency.

37. No, no and NO! I’m not going to die if I don’t have my phone for another 15 minutes.

38. I don’t think I will, anyway.

39. Has anyone ever died from their phone running out of battery? If only there was some way to check. Sob.

40. Get a grip, girl. Life is so busy these days. Maybe I should see this time as a gift: time to sit, relax and reflect on what is important to me.

41. Is this mindfulness? Am I meditating right now? I always knew I was one of those calm, spiritual people, deep down.

42. I’m feeling kinda zen. I’m going to do some yoga as soon as I get home.

43. I wonder if ASOS sell t-shirts that say anything about being totally zen. I’ll just check.

EXCEPT I CAN’T because my phone’s almost dead.

44. Well done, you meditated for like, 4 seconds before thinking about your phone.

45. I’ll just have a quick peek at that battery. And just check if anyone’s messaged me. Or Insta-ed me. Or Snapped me.

46. Still 2%! Yes! Come on, little guy.

47. Noooooo! The screen is black! The spinning wheel of doom! What happened to those last precious percents?

48. Mum is going to go mental.

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Image: Project Mc2

“To err is human,” wrote Alexander Pope in his poem An Essay On Criticism. He was talking about the flawed frailty of the mortal condition, but let’s be honest – he may as well have been about getting your WhatsApp groups muddled. Or DM-ing something bitchy to the person it’s about. Or accidentally liking your crush’s Instagram from 78 weeks ago.

We can’t have been the only ones who got VERY excited at the recent news that we might soon be able to edit and delete WhatsApp messages after they’ve been sent (thank you, merciful social media gods!), or who’ve watched a whole friendship go up in flames because someone hit the ‘live’ button when they really, really shouldn’t have. But hey, let’s comfort ourselves with the knowledge that we’ve all done it (without Ed Balls tweeting his own name that one time in 2011, we wouldn’t have Ed Balls Day, your favourite national holiday after Christmas).

And once the initial burning humiliation fades, what you’re left with is a really, really good anecdote… Here are our faves.

“I tried to stalk someone I thought had deleted me on Facebook, but instead of searching their name I accidentally posted their name as my status. It was there for two whole days before I noticed.”

“Accidentally sent a picture reading ‘I LOVE YOU’ on FB messenger to someone I didn’t know very well.”

“In my first “proper” job I accidentally live tweeted my entire holiday to Japan from my work (GOVERNMENT!) Twitter account.”

“I received an unexpected Snapchat from my ex and in my mild (such an understatement) excitement I pulled a horrifying face that no one should really have to see, to send to my best friend proclaiming that he’d messaged. I sent it to him instead.”

“A friend was showing me an old FB message (from someone inappropriate who had been trying to pick her up), but sent them a massive thumbs-up emoji by accident.”

“Casual Sunday night stalking session on Instagram. I was new to iPhone and not used to the fact that iPhones don’t have the double tap to zoom on everything function… so I ended up liking a picture of the slightly less-than-sane girlfriend of someone I kind of know. Obvs I quickly unliked it, and she quickly made her profile private.”

“My BFF and I spent half an hour writing the perfect message to the guy she liked. After multiple drafts, we composed the *perfect* message; funny and flirty and totally easy breezy. In our excitement, we accidentally sent him one of the drafts and the final version. Easy breezy my arse.”

“Pulling a stupid face that really didn’t capture my best angles, which I meant to send to my bff but instead accidentally ended up adding to my Snapchat story.”

“A very nice boyfriend of mine who I was getting bored of sent me a v. long message lamenting that I’d been off with him for a while. I screenshotted the message and sent it to a friend saying “Oh no, he knows I want to dump him. What should I do?!”. But I sent it to the boyfriend by accident. Problem solved.”

“I once typed a long-winded excuse to cancel plans with someone later that day, but sent it instead of saving it – making my totally made-up excuse entirely implausible.”

“A boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was stalking my Facebook and accidentally sent me a friend request. I asked him who she was, he asked her and THAT’S how she found out that she had sent the request. I assume she is dead from embarrassment now. Or living in a cave in the desert away from the internet forever.”

“In an exchange with a friend on Twitter I made a casual, bitchy reference to someone we went to school with years and years ago. Had no idea at all that she followed us both… until she replied to us both within five minutes. Ack.”

“I asked someone I really fancied about their recent trip to Wales. The only place they had mentioned the trip was in a long Twitter conversation with someone who I did not know at all. They looked confused, and I said ‘Oh, I think I’ve got you mixed up with someone else! Hahahahaha!’ BUT WE BOTH KNEW.”

“My boyfriend’s ex once followed me on Twitter – for three seconds. Sucks to be her.” 

“Messaged a friend saying ‘You can’t tell ANYONE… but Suzanne thinks she’s pregnant’. Then sent it (you guessed it) to Suzanne.”

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

 

There are some great unresolved mysteries in life: why does it never rain if you bring an umbrella, but always rain if you don’t? How did Stonehenge come to exist? And why, oh why, can’t Snapchat filters exist IRL?

Well, Desigual has solved one of those dilemmas for us.

During their show at New York Fashion Week on Thursday, with the help of MAC, Desigual’s models bought the Snapchat filters to life.

And they looked AH-MAZING.

NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 08: A model prepares before the Desigual fashion show during September 2016 New York Fashion Week at The Arc, Skylight at Moynihan Station on September 8, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Stewart/WireImage)
(Photo by Michael Stewart/WireImage/Getty)

In fact, Desigual were all over the social media trends this Fashion Week. Inspired by the #NoFilter hashtag on social media, most of the models were wearing almost no makeup, while a lucky six were turned into real life Snapchat filters with the help of incredible face paint and paper crowns that would make even the Cara Delevingne swoon.

NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 08: A model prepares backstage at the Desigual fashion show during New York Fashion Week: The Shows September 2016 at The Arc, Skylight at Moynihan Station on September 8, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images for New York Fashion Week: The Shows)
(Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty)
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 08: A model walks the runway during the Desigual show as a part of New York Fashion Week at The Arc, Skylight at Moynihan Station on September 8, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Antonio de Moraes Barros Filho/FilmMagic)
(Photo by Antonio de Moraes Barros Filho/FilmMagic/Getty)
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 08: A model walks the runway during the Desigual show as a part of New York Fashion Week at The Arc, Skylight at Moynihan Station on September 8, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Antonio de Moraes Barros Filho/FilmMagic)
(Photo by Antonio de Moraes Barros Filho/FilmMagic/Getty)

Thank you Desigual, for proving what we’d always suspected – that everyone looks gorgeous as a puppy.

NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 08: A model walks the runway during the Desigual show as a part of New York Fashion Week at The Arc, Skylight at Moynihan Station on September 8, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Antonio de Moraes Barros Filho/FilmMagic)
(Photo by Antonio de Moraes Barros Filho/FilmMagic/Getty)

And if we’re lucky, maybe at London Fashion Week another designer will explain how on Earth they built Stonehenge.

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Kylie Jenner has been making headlines this week.

Or, her chest has. A few curious fans wondered if Kylie’s boobs were looking bigger than normal

Within the hour, some tabloids were asking the same question – with their traditional class and sensitivity…

But when Kylie took to Twitter to dispel the rumours, her explanation had girls across the world nodding in solidarity.

Nope, she didn’t spend thousands of dollars on a boob job – she was just on her period, folks. Jog on, nothing to see here! You might say ‘TMI’ Kyles, but we say Just The Right Amount of Information. JTRAOI. Ok, that’ll never catch on.

This isn’t the first time that Kylie has had to talk about her boobs either. In September 2015 Kylie shot down more rumours that she’d had cosmtic surgery. “No, people – I haven’t gotten breast implants!” she wrote on her website. “Everyone is obsessed with that. Truth is, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gained 15 pounds and my body has changed; I’ve definitely filled out.”

Truth is, girls’ bodies do change. Jeans that are loose one week can be impossibly tight the next. Bras that fit perfectly in the shop can struggle to contain your nipples when your period comes a-callin’.

Bodies aren’t static, like Barbie dolls or Donald Drumpf’s hair. They change. A lot. And it’s perfectly natural when they do.

So cheers Kylie, for letting girls everywhere know that even the Jenners have to deal with periods. And best of luck riding the crimson wave!

Holler if you want to borrow a hot water bottle, k?

It’s time you started celebrating your period, guys. Sign up to bettybox RN and get all your tampons and pads, beauty products, sweet treats and loads more cool stuff delivered to your door, every single month. We know. It’s totally awesome. 

Image: Getty/Katie Edmunds