1. Ohhhhh yeeeeaaah. Onesie on, under the covers, 15 minutes for a bedtime YouTube vid. #WINNING.

2. Urgh – should probs be doing something something super wellbeing-y instead shouldn’t I? Like writing in a gratitude journal, or meditating or something.

3. Well sorrynotsorry – my wellbeing is based on zoning out to makeup tutorials I’ll never be able to recreate.

4. What have you got for me then, Tanya Burr? An impossible 90s look with a brown lip that will make me look like I’ve just eaten a jar of peanut butter?

5. Mmmmm, peanut butter.

6. OK you’ve only got time for one, so think carefully. Do not waste it on something rubbish.

7. I wonder if T-Bear actually would be my wellbeing guru if I Snapchatted her about it enough times?

8. And also my personal eyebrow do-er. How can anybody be that good at eyebrows?

9. Why do they always recommend weird ‘How it’s made’ videos to me? I have literally never clicked on one. What even are they?  

15 minutes later 

10. Dammit!

11. OK that defo didn’t count as my actual choice. It was on The SCIENCE Channel for god’s sake, that’s basically homework.

12. OK, ONE more. But a useful one. Maybe a Niomi Smart ‘What I Eat in a Day?’  

13. Mmmm peanut butter.

14. Oh here – perfect. Zoella vlog about birth and Boxer dogs. Totally qualifies as useful since I may one day give birth. Or, even better, own a Boxer dog.

20 minutes later

15. Must convince mum to get us a Boxer dog.

16. Ok. Go to sleep.

17. BOXERS DOGS DRESSED AS FAST FOOD!  

5 minutes later

18. GO. TO. SLEEEEP.

19. BUT CATS DRESSED AS DOGS!

10 minutes later

20. How late is too late to WhatsApp the gang with this life-changing discovery?

21. It’s probs not even that late.

22. WHAT THE…?! OK. Turn it off.

23. Thing is… 11.37 isn’t a very round number to go to sleep on. I’ll just watch til 11.45. That way I’ll have been watching for a nice round hour, too. Which is way better for…. karma. And stuff.

24. Ooh prom outfit ideas. And prom is only seven months away so should probs already be planning anyway.

10 minutes into video

25. What was that Little Mix video about prom?

15 minutes of Little Mix videos later

26. God I wish I was in Little Mix. They’re so badass. And they seem such good friends. And they’re amazing at acapella…. Ooh!

25 minutes of Little Mix acapella compilations later

27. OMGI’msooootiiiiired.

28. Remember at the beginning when Perrie couldn’t dance? Should really rewatch their first video to truly appreciate how much she’s improved.

29. I can totally function on less than eight hours sleep. I bet Beyoncé only sleeps for like, five hours a night.

30. In fact, should probs go back through every Little Mix videos and develop some kind of comprehensive marking system to determine who’s the best member overall. Dance moves, vocals, hair flick, sassy strut etc.

45 minutes later

31. So Jesy. Jesy is queen.

32. Why has the screen gone weird?

33. Oh that’s right – because you’re watching with one eye.

34. Because the other one has given up and gone to sleep.  

35. Because it’s 01:10 in the morning.

36. If I was a YouTuber I wouldn’t need to go to sleep though, ‘cos I’d just be doing hauls for a living. Which can’t possibly be tiring.

37. Just how much do they make, do we think? Oh here we are: ‘World’s richest YouTube stars.’

5 minutes later

38. I could totes be the next Zoella.

Searches for ‘How to start a YouTube channel’

A gazillion minutes later…

39. How do they get the chocolatey glaze to look so shiny though? It’s like some weird delicious mirror…

40. GAR! It is 2.45am and you are watching cake-glazing videos.

41. You are literally going to die when your alarm goes off.

42. Wonder if I can legitimately ask for a bath full of chocolate glaze for my next birthday. Reckon mum might go for that. Waaay cheaper than a new phone.

Starts searching for ‘chocolate bath challenge’ vids

43. Four and a half hours sleep is totally doable for tomorrow. Beyonce’s clearly weak.

44. Oh my god, you have actually lost it. Turn it off. Turn. It. OFF.

45. OK. OK. Turning… it… DOGS AND CATS DRESSED AS LITTLE MIX!!

@LucindaEverett

December is finally here! And while that means ’tis the season to be jolly, ’tis also the season to be shopping. Two words: Secret Santa.

We all know that Secret Santa can be like a flashmob – one minute, everything seems completely under control, and the next you’re running up and down the high street trying to find gifts that say ‘I value your friendship and who you are as a person’ for £5 or less.

Luckily, the betty elves are here to help! Here’s our round-up of awesome Secret Santa gifts for under a fiver. Sorted.

Beauty 

Sassy soap

A little feminist message for next time you’re lathering up.

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Cat boss soap, Ohh Deer, £4.50

Midas mani

This nail polish dries super fast, comes in loads of beautiful colours and is so cheap that you’ll still have some change left over. We think this gold is tres festive, now all that’s missing is some frankincense and myrrh.

 

gold-nail-polish

Celebration Gold Sand, Maybelline, £2.99

Panda Eyes

Never has looking like a panda been so freakin’ adorable. This calming Korean sheet mask might be just the ticket in the lead up to the holiday season.

pretty-animalz-panda

Pretty Animalz, Masquebar, £4

Ginger-hands

If your Secret Santa is a fan of gingerbread, look no further. This hand cream from Zoella’s Christmas range smells incredible and makes your hands silky soft.

zoella-hungry-hands

Hungry Hands, Zoella Beauty, £5

XOXO 

Who needs friendship bracelets when you can pick up these stunning temporary tattoos for next to nothing?

temporary-tattoo

Kiss Hug, Pepperink, £2.31

Kissmas

You never when there might be some mistletoe hanging about, so best to be prepared.

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Kissmas, Tanya Burr Cosmetics, £5

An-nail-gel

The holy grail of Secret Santa presents for a Christmas-loving nail artist. You can hang the angel on the tree and apply a coat between mouthfuls of turkey.

angel-nail-polish

Nail Polish Angel, Mavala, £4.95

Accessories

Having a whale of a time 

Maybe we should take all of our advice from Narwhals, the unicorns of the sea.

istay-weird-badge

Narwhal Pin Badge, Minifelts, £2.50

Tied up in knots

This ring is the holy trifecta: pretty, elegant and cheap.

knotted-ring

Knotted ring, Urban Outfitters, £5

Spot of cheer

This jazzy neckerchief can keep your throat toasty while you’re singing carols. Or you can fashion it into a head scarf. #Versatile.

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Leopard Print Neckerchief, New Look, £3.99

Fluff it up

You can pop it on your school bag or use it as a keychain. It’s soft and fluffy and we’ll bet you a fiver that you’ll end up stroking it like it’s a pet.

fulffy-things-minki

Fluffy key chain, Monki, £5

To the moon and back

Why buy one pair of earrings when you can buy NINE?! That way, you don’t have to panic too much when you inevitably lose one within the first day of wearing them.

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Gold and Silver studs, New Look, £3.99

A little bit random 

Stamp it out

If your Secret Santa is a little bit crafty, these are the perfect gift. Stamps can make even the blandest of chemistry notes suddenly look fun.

tiger-stamps

Wood Stamps, Tiger, £4

Cushion wisdom

Sure, it’s not the most traditional format for an inspirational quote, but you can pop it on your bed, so every morning you have a little reminder. What better way to start the new year?

enjoy-today-pillow

Cushion Cover, H&M, £3.99

Spooning

I’m dreamin’ of a white Christmas. You won’t mind too much if it’s doesn’t snow this year if you have a white chocolate spoon on hand.

 

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White Chocolate Spoon, Cocoba, £2.75

Let it grow

We still have no idea how these things work, but that doesn’t make them any less magical. And who doesn’t want a Christmas miracle?

tiger-trees

Crystal eksperiment, Tiger, £2

 Now that’s taken care of, you can put your feet up and get a crack on watching Love Actually. You’re welcome.