At some point in your life, if you’re in possession of a phone and an internet connection, you’ll probably receive this message, or some variation of it: “Send nudes.”

And if you’re searching for a creative response, why not take a leaf from 16-year-old Jacquie Ross’ book? When her school pal Michael messaged asking to see her prom outfit, things took a depressingly predictable turn…

To which Michael replied, “What’s below the picture?”

But Michael decided to try again. And this is where the true genius of Jacquie is revealed. Literally.

Again.

And again.

She literally made herself into a human pass the parcel.

And when all 18…wait, 19 towels were done, she whipped out this.

When it looked like her prank might finally be circling the drain, this happened.

Obviously this prank was too good to just end up down the plug hole of her inbox, so like any good Gen Z-er, Jacquie screenshotted the messages and put them on Tumblr – where they’ve since had over 63,000 notes.

Between Jacquei’s towels and this teen’s brilliant umbrella hat response, soon we’ll have a whole compendium of brilliant responses for when someone asks for nudes. But if you’re looking for a faster, simpler approach a general, “Over my dead body,” generally works too.

@LilyPesch

Image: @LilyPesch

Every. Single. Time. RIP, best white towel.

1. I really cba to shower.

2. Fine I’ll shower.

3. I am never leaving the shower. I am at one with the water.

4. Where’s my shaver?

5. Over the other side of the bathroom. Of course it is.

*gingerly gets out of shower and leans to grab razor, nearly slipping and making the bath sound like it’s farting, you know the one*

6. La, la, la, this is easy, I can barely feel the blade on my legs.

7. Why are the hairs under my arm so much thicker?

8. What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? What am I doing on this planet..?

9. I love showers.

*looks down *

10. GOOD GOD.

11. Where did all this blood come from?! Who’s the culprit? SHOW YOURSELF.

12. Oh, my ankle, obviously. Not my uterus. Ankle.

13. That cut is TINY. I didn’t even FEEL IT.

14. I didn’t know there was so much blood in my ankle, isn’t it just bone?

15. This is ridiculous. Stop bleeding.

16. I’m never shaving my ankles again. They weren’t even hairy. I just like the thrill.

17. WHY ARE YOU STILL BLEEDING.

“Muuuuuuuuum…”

18. I’m going to be trapped here forever.

“MUUUUUUUUUUUUM…”

19. I’m bleeding out, aren’t I? I’m dying.

“MUUUUU- can I have a plaster, please? And can you pass me some towels? And get me some spinach, I need my iron levels back up.”

20. This plaster won’t stick, my skin’s wet.

21. Sorry Mum, I need to sacrifice this new white towel. RIP white towel, 2017-2017.

22. I can’t wait for cut to scab over. Picky pick pick.

*gets out and dries*

23. FFS I FORGOT TO SHAVE MY KNEES.

@louisejonesetc

Change is good. Change is natural. Change is a part of life.

Even Taylor Swift wrote a song about change.

Fine, it’s possible she’s not singing about changing your tampon, but someone really should. Without being able to see what’s going on or feel what’s happening, it can be hard to know exactly when you need to change it.

So here are some guidelines to help you learn the ropes (or strings).

How long are we going to be hanging out for?

Generally you should change your tampon every 4-8 hours. Even if you forget everything else in this article, remember the golden rule for tampons:

THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE A TAMPON IN FOR MORE THAN EIGHT HOURS.

If you leave it in for any longer than that, you could put yourself at risk of developing Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), so always keep an eye on the time.

TL;DR? Here's the important stuff:
  • Never leave a tampon in for more than eight hours.Your tampon should be easy to remove. If it feels dry or ‘stuck’ it probably means it hasn’t been in for long enough or you need a lower absorbency.If you go to the loo and find that the tampon string is wet with menstrual fluid, you’re definitely ready for a change. If this happens a lot, try a higher absorbency tampon

Your tampon should be easy to remove. If it feels dry or ‘stuck’ it probably means it hasn’t been in for long enough and you can wait a bit longer before removing it. If you find that you’ve had it in for eight hours and this is still happening, you might want to try a lower absorbency tampon – particularly towards the end of your period when things tend to lighten up.

However, if you go to the loo and find that the tampon string is wet with delightful menstrual fluid, you’re definitely ready for a change. If you find that this keeps happening after only having your tampon in for a few hours, you might want to try a higher absorbency tampon.

Um… why am I leaking?

There are a few reasons you might still be experiencing leakage, even with a tampon in. Your tampon may have absorbed as much fluid as it can and is unable to carry any more menstrual blood. If this is happening frequently, you might want to try a more absorbent tampon.

Another option is that you haven’t inserted your tampon quite right. The technique can be tricky to get right when you first start using tampons (and on the odd occasion later in life too, tbh) – but don’t worry, you’ll be a pro in no time. Generally, if a tampon is inserted correctly, you shouldn’t be able to feel it. If you feel any discomfort, it’s possible the angles are a bit wrong, so pull it out gently and insert a new tampon. Voila!

Everyone’s vagina is a different size and shape, so it’s possible that tampons won’t be able to absorb 100% of your period. If this is the case, you might want to wear a pantyliner as well, in order to save your knickers from pesky stains.

Basically, there is one golden rule when it comes to tampons. Repeat after us:

THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE A TAMPON IN FOR MORE THAN EIGHT HOURS.

It’s like T.Swift says:

(At least three times).

Life’s full of lumps and bumps. Goosebumps. Speedbumps. Lovely lady lumps.

But if you’ve ever peered inside your pants while on your period and panicked about lumps that look distinctly less lovely, take a deep breath. This is perfectly natural.

So they’re not… clots?

Well, er, actually they are. *BUT* they’re not the type of clots you hear about on Grey’s Anatomy or Casualty. These are completely harmless clots.

So what are they?

OK, let’s rewind a minute.

Every month, as your progesterone levels rise, it causes the lining of your uterus to grow thick with extra blood and tissue, making it cosy and cushiony in case a pregnancy occurs.

TL;DR? Here's the important stuff:
  • They’re clots of tissue rather than blood, which generally means there’s nothing to worry about.
  • If you notice particularly large clots, you might want to have a chat with your GP just to make sure everything is tip-top-shape.

In the case of a no-show, your progesterone and oestrogen levels start to fall and the lining of your womb comes away. The blood exits your body through your vagina and, because life is unfair sometimes, probably makes its way onto your favourite knickers.

So, the clots?

The clots are clots. But they’re clots of tissue rather than blood, which generally means there’s nothing to worry about. If you notice particularly large clots, you might want to have a chat with your GP just to make sure everything is tip-top shape.

But next time the red unicorn comes for a visit and you’re worried that your life is about to become the next episode of Casualty, breathe. They’re just your monthly lady lumps.

Image: Getty