Body hair. It causes more social drama than an episode of EastEnders.

And all the shouting and opinions and ‘YOU AIN’T MY MUVVA’s can make you feel super confused at the pile of pubes you’ve now adopted, or your leg hair that seems to be growing darker and darker. What’s normal? Can you keep it? Or should it GET OUTTA MA PUB? (I’m not sure how long the EastEnders references are going to last, sorry.)

Firstly, let’s lay down the golden rules when it comes to YOUR body hair. Ahem. It is totally ok if you:

Don’t want to shave/wax/trim etc!

Not bothered by the hair on your body? Don’t get the fuss? That’s ok! Your body is yours and the hair on it is totally normal and healthy. If you don’t care about your fanny bush or fuzzy armpit then you leave it alone and stick two fingers up to the haters.

Want to shave/wax/trim etc!

Armpit hair too itchy? Leg hair too dark? Don’t like your pubes? That’s ok! You can remove your body hair as long as you’re doing it for the right reasons. But your friends making comments in the P.E. changing rooms about you not shaving your legs, or your boyfriend/girlfriend saying you’re weird and dirty for keeping your pubes, aren’t the right reasons. Only change your body for you and nobody else.

So that’s that sorted. But what about the hair that’s not on your legs, fanny, or armpit? The hair that lurks but no one talks about? The tuft that’s appeared on your big toe or the sole, lonely long hair that’s sticking proudly from your left nipple? Is THAT normal?! Well…

1. Hairy toes?

Yep. Normal. Toes get hairy, which apparently is a sign of good circulation! So if you can plait your toe hair then your heart is probably doing a good job. Be proud.

2. Hairy nipples?

Totally normal. It’s very common to have a hair or two growing around your nipples. Like most things, you can probably blame hormones. It’s unlikely that many people are going to see them, or care, but if you do want to get rid then a gentle pluck will do.

3. Facial hair?

Normal, almost all of the time. While men are basically encouraged to rock a hipster beard, it can feel like a girl’s worst nightmare to have hair growing on their face (spot the inequality!). But whether it’s upper lip, between the eyebrows, or on your chin, it happens. Usually it’s just who you are – but sometimes a lot of face hair can be due to hormonal imbalances, so if it seems extreme or is really bothering you, get yourself to your GP.

4. Hairy eyebrows?

So normal. Some people’s eyebrows are super thin and some are super thick, and what’s socially acceptable and trendy changes every damn day. Eyebrows can be cool to play with and style, but never think that yours are naturally weird or abnormal. And never wax or shave them off completely off… believe me. You don’t wanna do that.

5. Snail trail?

Funnily enough, normal! Snail trails, the hair that can run from your belly button to your fanny, aren’t just guy property. #Equality

6. Dark hair?

Normal. The colour of your body hair will totally depend on your DNA. If you have super dark hair that steals the limelight, or super pale hair that makes your eyebrows redundant, then you can probably blame your parents. Whatever the colour, it’s normal to you.

7. Hairy bum?

Unfortunately, normal. We’re not talking about the long hairs that get trapped in your bum crack after a shower, we’re talking about actual hair that grows in said bum crack. It’s a misconception that your pubes only grow on your mons pubis (the area above your vulva – Google it). They grow in ALL THE AREAS down below. You can get rid of it if you want to, but please be careful! Shaving down there can be tricky, blind, and VERY PAINFUL IF YOU GET IT WRONG.

8. Pubey thighs?

Argh, sorry. Normal. As above, your pubes can grow in ALL THE AREAS and that can include your thighs. Yeah. We know. Thankfully these pubes tend to not be as thick and wiry as your fanny pubes so are soft and less noticeable, which also makes them more easy to get rid of – if you so wish.

So, there you have it. Body hair. More often than not, totally 100% normal.

*gasp. dramatic look. DUFF DUFF DUFFDUFFDUFF DUFFDUFFDUFFDUFF. theme tune. credits roll*

@louisejonesetc

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Image: Kate Forster